Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Thoughts on last night's Raw

The opening match/segment with Triple H and Vince McMahon was actually pretty funny, especially when the latter stole the match bell. The rest of that particular storyline was bleh, yet reminded me of the McMahon-Helmsley shenanigans from the early 00s, before the Invasion. I couldn't shake the subtle hint of a possible heel turn for Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley. Who knows, maybe she's making a power play by pitting her father and her husband against each other.

But, hey, Curtis Axel is like 4-0 against Trips at this point and that's just...Perfect. Speaking of which, I'm hoping that WWE isn't going to put the Intercontinental title around Axel's waist already. I do think he might very well be either a WWE or World Heavyweight champion in a couple of years, but this just seems too soon. I know he's been on the roster for several years now and was in the New Nexus, but I just think that rushing him into a championship this soon after his re-debut as Curtis Axel might do more harm than good. It also bugs me because it signals that Wade Barrett is stuck in mid-card limbo and that's just sad. Also, Fandango has a concussion, so we didn't get to see his Lisa Frank outfit this week.

Wyatt Family promos! Wyatt Family promos everywhere! Whoever is making these deserves a raise and no less than two hookers.

Did everybody come up with Team RK-NO as a name for Bryan and Orton's team? Because it seems like it.

Daniel Bryan is the Best in the World. They need to put him in more matches with Seth Rollins. It seems like every time Bryan steps into the ring, it's the match of the goddamn year, regardless of who is opponent is. Bryan can pull a great match out of Ryback and that's quite a statement. The Bryan/Rollins match was beyond phenomenal. I loved how they kept putting each other in the surfboard hold, then breaking out of it. Bryan even whipped out a variation of the surfboard with the dragon sleeper hold. This match was so fucking good, Owen Hart's Force Ghost appeared to Bryan and Rollins after the match to congratulate them.

And can we just talk about that pop they both received during that match? I've never heard one louder, not even during the Attitude Era whenever Stone Cold or The Rock's music would play. I'd like to imagine that Vince and Trips were standing backstage watching this match and going "Yeah, we definitely need to get some more Ring of Honor guys..."

Mark Henry promo video! The King of all Hosses is coming back soon!

Then there was the big reveal of Kaitlyn's secret admirer, who turned out to be Big E. Langston. It was pretty ho-hum until Big E dropped Kaitlyn like a sack of sexy potatoes and AJ revealed that she had orchestrated the whole thing as part of long running plot against her former best friend. This was actually one of the best parts of last night's Raw, surprisingly. This was a storyline that's been running since 2011 when the Chickbusters split, and WWE carrying on a storyline involving two Divas for this long is amazing. I just hope they're not giving false hope for the future of the Divas Division, though.

Vince McMahon "doesn't hug other men" except for when he does.

Holy shit, Damien Sandow actually won a singles match! Aw, shit, here comes Douchebag Sheamus.

Who thought it was a good idea to promo Hardee's new hamburger by putting one down in front of the recent heart attack victim? I don't think he actually ate, but he was looking at it like it was an 18 year old cheerleader washing a car in a white t-shirt.

The only thing worth mentioning about the "showdown" between John Cena and Ryback were the lumberjacks. It's nice to see that Alex Riley, Ted DiBiase, Jr., and JTG are still employed.

My rating: 9/10. The Bryan/Rollins match gets an infinity/infinity.

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