Saturday, December 28, 2013

Who wants to see a weirdass picture of the Joker?

(via Jokerology)
Apparently, this is from a comic called Penguin: Pain and Prejudice, and that's all I can say about it because what in the actual fuck?

Friday, December 27, 2013

Fall Out Boy - Thnks fr th Mmrs

I didn't post the music video because it's one of those videos where the song gets interrupted several times for the sake of dialogue or whatever. It does have chimps, though, so it has that going for it.

Monday, December 23, 2013

Thanks to this tweet from Variety, I now have a new way to describe my penis!

"Visually dazzling but thoroughly bogus" sounds about right, yeah.

h/t Bryko.

Monday, December 9, 2013

Welp, still can't play Medieval: Total War and DOSBox was no help

You might remember that I posted of my woes last year of not being able to play Medieval: Total War because it won't run on Vista. Well, I forgot that I had installed DOSBox a while back and decided to try that because what the hell, may as well. Did it work?

Granted, DOSBox might not be the right application in the first place, but hells bells, I didn't know how to get the game to run on it. I Googled, found instructions and how-tos and maybe it's because I'm not a tech geek, I failed epically. What I mind end up doing is just hauling my old tower up from the basement and just switching to that whenever I feel like playing MTW or Freelancer. What gets me though, is that those two games won't run on Vista, yet Warcraft II: Battlenet Edition, which was released in '99 (although Warcraft II itself was released in '95) will run perfectly. Hell, I can run Starcraft and even Master of Orion II with relative ease.

No wonder people hate Vista.

Sunday, December 1, 2013

Here, have a picture of Christina Hendricks in all of her curvy goodness

(via Softpedia)

Neat things: d20 ice mold

From ThinkGeek via Laughing Squid.

While tragic, you have to admit that Paul Walker's death is ironic

Yeah, in case you haven't heard, Paul Walker from the Fast and Furious movies died yesterday in a car wreck. Considering that he was known primarily for those movies, dying in a car wreck is ironic. In fact, I didn't believe that Walker had died because of that.

Don't get me wrong, though, I'm not making light of Paul Walker's demise. I'm not that tasteless.

Friday, November 15, 2013

The Night of the Doctor is an instant Whovian nerdgasm

A wild Paul McGann suddenly appears!

The whole "War Doctor" thing explains why in the Name of the Doctor, Eleven claimed that the War Doctor's actions weren't done in the name of the Doctor. I'm also guessing that they're not counting the War Doctor as a "main" incarnation, like how there are ten Grand Theft Auto games, but only five are part of the main series.

Can't wait until the 23rd.

Thursday, October 31, 2013

The new commercial for Google's Chromebook is uh...well, it's definitely something

In the words of the immortal Rick James: "cocaine is a hell of a drug."

What's with the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers appear in commercials recently, though? The commercial for that Samsung Galaxy Note smartwatch includes several clips from MMPR. I'm not complaining, however, because I fucking love Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. That was my shit when I was a kid, right up until Power Rangers: Turbo. I'm sorry, but a ten year old Power Ranger was just a bridge too far for me. I don't think they ever explained how his body changed into a full-size adult's when he morphed.

Saturday, October 19, 2013

In which I laugh for a thousand million years

Credit: Our Valued Customers.
Yeah, this guy* clearly had no idea what he was talking about - Whovians are just as crotchety as any other fandom. Popular subjects to bitch about:
  • Why Stephen Moffatt is a sexist twit who is absolutely ruining Doctor Who
  • Why do people dislike Martha Jones?
  • <Nine, Ten, Eleven> is the best Doctor!
Etc., etc., etc...

*In case you've never read Our Valued Customers, the strips are based on actual things the writer/artist, Mr. Tim has overheard at the comic shop he works at.

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Welp, that last post was my 500th

To 500 more shitty posts!

Thoughts on Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. episode "0-8-4"

Eh. It was an okay episode, but it didn't blow my socks even half-way off. Whereas the pilot showed the formation of Phil Coulson's team, 0-8-4 was about the team actually coalescing into well, a team. The plot was pretty cookie cutter: Coulson and his team - which I hereby christen the Super Friends - head to Peru to investigate a report of a "0-8-4", which is S.H.I.E.L.D.'s code for an object of unknown origin. According to Coulson, the last time he investigated one, it was Mjolnir, Thor's hammer. The object in question turns out to be a Tesseract-powered weapon built by HYDRA long ago. Now, at this point, I thought we were going to get an appearance by Baron Zemo, since he had ties to the Nazis and fled to the South American jungles near the end of WWII ended.

Things pick up a little when the Super Friends end up in a standoff with a unit of Peruvian soldiers led by an ally of Coulson's named Camilla Reyes. Then both groups are attacked by rebels and they make their escape on-board the Super Friend's plane, which I'm calling the Hall of Justice. There's a scene after this where a reference to the Avengers movie is made. The weapon is being examined in the plane's lab and all of the Super Friends, with the exception of Coulson and May (who's flying the Hall of Justice), all become very angry and start arguing with each other. Sound familiar? It's exactly what happened in the movie when the Avengers were in Banner's lab with Loki's scepter. The fact that Coulson wasn't affected is very interesting and lends more weight to my theory that he's not human; he wouldn't be affected by it if he were an LMD or some other type of android.

The rest of the episode involves Reyes and her men hijacking the Hall of Justice to get her hands on the weapon. The Super Friends are forced to put aside their differences and work together to stop her and save using the weapon to blow a hole in the side of the plane, killing most of Reyes' men (parachutes would have been handy) and allowing Coulson to turn the tables on his captor. After this, they head to a secret S.H.I.E.L.D. base where the weapon is loaded onto a rocket and fired off into the Sun, which Coulson explains is standard procedure because Tesseract-powered weapons are simply too dangerous to have around. We also discover that Skye is still connected to the secret hacker group, Rising Tide, and appears to be playing the part of mole in the team.

The best part of the episode, though? Nick motherfucking Fury! I did not expect Samuel L. Jackson to do a cameo on the show, mostly because I didn't think the show would have that kind of money to do it. Either way, it was totally worth it.

The Good: Interesting bits and references to Captain America, Thor, and the Avengers. Also, Phil Coulson. The surprise cameo by Nick Fury was worth watching.

The Bad: The entire episode felt like filler. Nothing was spectacular. The show is still getting its legs.

My rating: 7/10.

Monday, October 7, 2013

Sunday, September 29, 2013

Thoughts on Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

It was pretty good. It didn't blow my socks off, but then again, I was barefoot at the time. I thought the references to the movies and each Avenger was nice and Phil Coulson was the best part of the episode, hand's down. I would still recommend watching it.

Speaking of the Son of Coul, I was intrigued by the explanation for his resurrection and a secret. Head down below for more, because there might be a few people who haven't seen the pilot yet. Poor dears.

Okay, so here's the bit that got my attention about Coulson not being dead. Maria Hill and a S.H.I.E.L.D. doctor, Streiten, have a brief conversation after Coulson leaves the room where they are. Coulson had mentioned being revived by medics after getting shanked by Loki and that Fury had used his "death" to motivate the Avengers into acting as a team, and after that, he had been sent to Tahiti to recover. Streiten asks Hill that "he really doesn't know, does he?" to which Hill responds "No, and he can never find out." Now, I had a theory about how Coulson survived his encounter with Loki in the Avengers movie, that he had used a LMD - Life Model Decoy, an android designed to be as an exact duplicate of a person as possible - and that was what Loki "killed". The pilot trashed that theory, but part of it might still be relevant.

I think Phil Coulson is an LMD. I think he died in the movie and Fury had an LMD built to take his place. Maybe they somehow transferred his memories or even his entire consciousness into it, then simply told Coulson that the medics had revived him. Who knows, maybe the revelation could cause him to have some sort of breakdown or critical systems failure.

Monday, September 23, 2013

Music Monday: The Cranberries - Linger

Do you have to
Do you have to
Do you have to let it liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinger

Infographic: Batman's bat-suits through the decades

Created by Benjamin Moore for Screen Rant, the infographic charts the evolution of Batman's costume from its first appearance in 1939 (Detective Comics #27) to about 2011. It also includes the bat-suits from the movies, cartoons, the '66 TV show, video games, and from The Dark Knight Returns. Dick Grayson's (Robin, Nightwing) and Azrael's bat-armor are in there too.

Click to enlarge.
I've always been fond of the gray and blue versions of the bat-suit. In all honesty? Never been a great fan of the movie costumes. Just not digging the whole rubber suit thing. I mean, it's pretty bad when Batman can't turn his head, isn't that a major liability when you're fighting gun-toting criminals and supervillains armed with all sorts of deadly weapons?

Then again, I'm more than a little bit of a grumpy cat when it comes to this nerd stuff.

Monday, September 16, 2013

My DVD collection is smaller than I thought

Didn't realize it until I went up to grab a DVD so that my dad could test a player he got at a yard sale. I knew it was small, but I didn't realize how measly it was. The list:

Star Wars Original Trilogy box set
Seasons One & Two of Red vs. Blue
The Untouchables
Three Monty Python's - Life of Brian, Holy Grail, and Meaning of Life
Fellowship of the Ring and Return of the King special editions (never have gotten a chance to buy The Two Towers)
The Shawshank Redemption
Blade Runner
Clerks and Clerks II
Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children
The Last Samurai

I wasn't joking when I said it was small. I've never been much of a DVD collector, even when I have the money to buy them. Usually, I would end up buying games or books instead. I also plan on getting Netflix at some point, so buying DVDs might be a moot point.

Friday, September 6, 2013

Hot diggity damn, there's already a picture from the set of the Batman vs. Superman movie!

via Darth Sebious.

A new Sherlock Holmes enters the arena: Sir Ian McKellen!

I've heard of an Abundance of Katherines, but never bushel of Sherlocks. Or maybe it would be a peck? Is there even an accurate unit of weight?

Anyway, according to Geek Tyrant, Sir McKellen is set to play an elderly Holmes in an adaption of a book by Mitch Cullen called A Slight Trick of the Mind. Here's the description:
In 1947, Sherlock Holmes, long retired, lives in a sleepy Sussex village with his housekeeper and her amateur-sleuthing son. But far from living out a peaceful retirement, he is haunted by an unsolved case from fifty years ago. He remembers only fragments: a confrontation with an angry husband, a secret bond with his beautiful but unstable wife.
With his legendary mental powers on the wane, and without his old sidekick Watson, Holmes is faced with the toughest case of his life - a case that might finally reveal to him the mysteries of the human heart.
Man, Sherlock has certainly exploded back into popularity over the past decade, hasn't he? Two TV shows, two movies (soon to be three, counting this one) and played by three great actors - Benedict Cumberbatch, Robert Downy, Jr., and Jonny Lee Miller. I have to wonder, is this resurgence because the stories and character are entertaining or because they're in the public domain and thus cheaper to adapt and reuse? I'm about 60/40. Hey, I'm a cynic.

Thursday, August 29, 2013

My thoughts on Ben Affleck playing Batman: Get over it.

How about we give the guy a chance
before damning him?

(via Wikipedia)
I really do not understand the negative reaction to Affleck being cast to play the Caped Crusader other than it's bandwagoning and residual "Ben Affleck is terrible" leftover from when it was hip in popular culture to make fun of him. Yes, he was in Daredevil and that movie was bad, but guess what? It's also a decade old.

Honestly, I think the negative reputation attached to Ben Affleck’s acting career is unfair and unfounded. Yes, Daredevil was not a great movie, but guess what? Not all superhero movies will be solid gold. Some will be solid turds, but every movie genre has those, so it's not even a little deal. Gigli was bad, but it’s infamy has been overblown into an internet meme. Gigli, too ten years old. He’s been in good movies before and after those two, movies like Good Will Hunting, Argo, The Town (which made $154 million on a $34 million budget and was critically acclaimed), Dogma, and more. Gigli and Daredevil are just what they are, bad movies, and every actor has done bad movies.
Yes, this movie sucked. Get over it.
(via iFanboy)

Of course, people whining about a superhero casting is no surprise. When Andrew Garfield was announced as Spider-Man, and Henry Cavill as Superman, people lost their shit. When people started floating the idea of Donald Glover playing Spider-Man, you could form an chain of islands out of all the shit lost over that. The former two turned out well and the latter would have been interesting as hell*.

My honest opinion? Get the fuck over it. Ben Affleck playing Batman is not the end of the world. There are way more important and pressing concerns in life than who is playing a superhero in a movie that will make hundreds of millions of dollars regardless of whether or not you and your friends go and see it in theaters.

*As much as I hate to admit it, I didn't like the idea of Glover as Spider-Man, but I freely admit that I was wrong.

Friday, August 23, 2013

Star Raiders! *wicked guitar riff*

Never played Star Raiders, unfortunately, but when this promo image for a graphic novel based on the Atari game came across my dashboard on Tumblr, I had to post it. The comic was drawn by Jose Luis Garcia Lopez and written by Elliot S! Maggin, and published by DC in 1983.

Picture via fanta-z. h/t Mike Meltzer.

And the next guy to don the cape and cowl is...Ben Affleck

But in all seriousness, I'm going to withhold judgement on this until a later point. Truth be told, I'm not thrilled with the idea of a Superman/Batman movie to begin with, because I think the money could have gone into something better, like a Wonder Woman movie. I mean, is there really a pressing need to give those two characters a movie and not her?

Having said that, I think people should at least give Ben Affleck a break. Yes, he starred in Daredevil and yes that movie was bad, but it wasn't Batman and Robin bad. I think if the movie had been made today, it would have fared better. Plus, it's not exactly easy to make a superhero movie where said superhero is blind.

Reading old Fantastic Four comics

Years ago, I splurged on a copy of Marvel Masterworks Fantastic Four volume 2.

via Barnes & Noble.
I wanted the first volume, but Barnes & Noble was lacking. Still, I came out pretty good, I think. Marvel Masterworks, by the by, is the name of one of Marvel's reprint series, along with the Essentials collection. The main differences between the two collections is that Essentials gives you a lot more comics for a lower price than Masterworks, but all of the comics are reprinted in black and white. I have one of the Avengers Essentials and love it, despite that one drawback. Masterworks, on the other hand, is reprinted in full color and on better paper. I don't know how many issues are reprinted in other volumes, but this one contains issues 11-20, plus the first annual. Ten comics in one slim book for $24.99 is a damn fine deal, if you ask me. The book has a bit of heft to it, which to me, just enhances the value.

Another thing that makes the second volume worth picking up is that it contains the first appearances of several big bads and others, such as the Red Ghost and his Super-Apes, the Watcher, The Impossible Man, Mad Thinker and Awesome Android, Super-Skrull, Molecule Man, and Rama Tut. Whew!

But for all of that praise, there is a downside. Some of the stories I've read so far are short and don't quite hold up today. Issue 15 with the Mad Thinker was interesting in concept, but was just too short and because of that, was resolved too quickly. I'll be doing a separate post about that comic later on. Still, I mean, the collection more than makes up for it with other exciting stories and a pretty nice bonus section that I guess came with the FF's first annual. That section features a rogues gallery of villains, a cut away of the Baxter Building, and information about the team itself.

All in all, I think it's worth buying.

And this is why a crossover between Star Wars and Star Trek would be a bad idea

Credit: VernonX9000.
You know it would happen too. The Enterprise somehow ends up in the Star Wars universe, they meet Leia, Han and the others and Kirk  immediately starts putting the moves on Leia. On the other hand, it would be interesting to see Spock chatting it up with Luke about the Jedi. If it were the Enterprise-D, Data and the droids would having a pretty interesting conversation. Even then, Han would have competition in the form of Riker. I guess some scruffy-looking nerf herders just can't catch a break.

Thursday, August 22, 2013

This mashup of Living Colour's "Cult of Personality" and the nWo Wolfpac's entrace music go together like chocolate and peanut butter.

You wouldn't think it they would, but someone on the YouTubes created what is a surprisingly aurally pleasing mashup. Fair warning, the song begins with the a wolf howling, so you might want to plug in some headphones or lower the volume for the first few seconds.

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

That one time Batman became a mermaid, aka the Silver Age was weeeeeeeeeeeeeeird, dude.

Na Na Na Na Na Na, BatMerman!
So did they just hand out free cocaine at DC Comics back then or what? Normally, I would just leave this here without comment, but I'm sorry, I just have to have some context, because that shit is just bananas.

To Google!

Okay, so after way more Googling than what was probably needed, I finally tracked it down! It comes from Batman #53 from 1949, in a story called appropriately "Batman Under the Sea". Sooo, this was more Golden Age shenanigans than Silver Age WTF.

h/t DailyDCU for the picture.

Sunday, August 18, 2013

Thor's Mjolnir bookend, you say?

Oh my Asgard! I must have it!

This fine bookend is being made by Gentle Giant and is up for pre-order at Urban Collector for...$83.99. Oh, why must I be poor!?

h/t GeekTyrant.

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Vintage ad shows electronic mail as the wave of the future (at least until you start getting spammed)

Via Gizmodo.
Seriously though, that dude looks like he just shit his pants because apparently Tinkerbelle is delivering his mail. It's amusing seeing what was then a major tech company running an ad for email, but the way the ad describes it, makes email really much more appealing than it is now. Back then, it was a useful method to keep all departments of a corporation in-touch and informed, but nowadays it's mostly just spam and social media notifications.

I like the way the artist set the desk and office up, it looks exactly what an office back then would look like. It presents an interesting contrast with the ad's pronouncement of the "Office of the Future". He has a stapler and a tape dispenser, both of which would likely be rendered obsolete in the Office of the Future and eventually in real life, since physical paperwork is probably dwindling in the age of tablets and touch screens. I don't know whether they still use corded phones (though, all the TV shows and movies seem to think so), but that one right there is outdated as hell. The two (three?) picture frames are a nice touch, but is that an ashtray in front of the double picture frame, though?

All in all, it's a nice snapshot of what a typical 1970s office probably looked like.

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Do you know what's better than the batboat? Nothing, but this Spider-Man designed boat might come close

Credit: Our Valued Customers.
Where did Spidey get the money not only to buy a boat, but have it customized like this? Well, it wouldn't be the first time the webhead received a vehicle. At least this one didn't end up in the Hudson River or left hanging from a building.

It's yet to be clear whether or not he fucked any mermaids.

h/t Nerd Approved.

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Let's Talk About Old Comics: RoboCop #3

So, this is the start of a potential new series wherein I talk about and review old comics I have. I was going through a box of them recently and found some good ones, some bad ones, and some in-between, so I figured I may as well put them to use on here. Well, that, and I'm too broke to buy new comics and there's no comic book store in town anyways. Derp, derp. In any case, the first comic I'll be talking about is the third issue of Marvel's early 90s RoboCop comic!

Via Comic Vine.
So a brief rundown before we start: The RoboCop comic ran for 23 issues from 1990 until 1993 and was set between the second and third movies. This was pretty evident as Anne Lewis, RoboCop's partner, is still alive and OCP, the corporation that built him hasn't been taken over by the Japanese Kanemitsu Corporation as they had in the third movie.  One of the oddities about the comic itself was that it featured technology that didn't exist in the movie, such as flying vehicles and a much wider propagation of cybernetics. The former caused fans to complain and Marvel eventually removed the vehicles.

Now with that out of the way, let's get down to the comic. "Dueling at the Dreamarama" begins with three masked men with jetpacks robbing a place called The Dreamarama, killing one of the guards in the process. Unfortunately, for them, a certain law enforcement cyborg - a RoboCop, if you will - and his partner happen to be on patrol nearby and chase down the three criminals. The leader of the group orders his two cohorts to attack RoboCop and like idjits, they actually do it. It goes without saying that that was a horrible decision as RoboCop and Lewis pop them both before they even have the chance to attack. One of them does almost succeed in almost taking out Lewis, at least, as he careens out of control and slams into the duo's cop car before his jet pack explodes. We also discover that RoboCop's car is probably armored and fire-proof.

Anyway, the remaining criminal is as successful in escaping as his buds were in dying as he manages to rendezvous with his client seconds before a police helicopter passes by. This is one of the things that probably bugged fans of the RoboCop franchise, as the client is in what I can only describe as a flying van that looks like one of the shuttles from either the original Star Trek or The Next Generation. Oh, and the client is a fat dude who has an addiction to pizza that would make the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles blanch. The guy, who we learn is named Joe (and Mr. Pizza, because why the hell not?) asks if the baddie has the dream-tapes and in response to his demand for more money - as compensation for losing two buddies to RoboCop, even though he was the one who ordered them to attack the guy - Joe commits what might very well be the first instance of pizza being used as a means to murder by shoving an entire pie in the other guy's face and shoving him out of the back of the flying van, while grabbing the bag of tapes. Why that guy took off his jetpack prior to demanding more money, I will never know, but it was clearly an idjit decision. Fear not for Joe, though, for he always keeps a spare pizza around for just these sort of emergencies.

And we're only eight pages in at this point, folks.

While all this was going on, RoboCop and Lewis head over to the Dreamarama to investigate the robbery and we're provided a rundown on what Dreamarama is. We learn that it's a place where people can have their dreams recorded and stored and that other customers can pay to have those dreams put inside their own noggins. We also learn that there's such a thing as "super-crack", which I can only assume is slang for gifs of adorable kittens.

Another thing worth mentioning is the uniforms of Dreamarama's staff, which involves thigh high boots and a sort of pseudo-bondage outfit.

Back to the story, the manager of Dreamarma (a subsidiary of Nixco) explains that out of the four million tapes in the archives, only four appear to have been stolen and each one belongs to the head of a corporation, including the CEO of OCP, RoboCop's boss. The others are Harrison Fodor of Med*Inc, Mac Kline of Media, and Stanislav Nix of Nixco. We find out that the tapes are now in the possession of a guy named Cybex, who is a brilliant scientist who came up with the idea for Delta City (the city that OCP wanted to replace Detroit with in the movies), the ED-209s, and surprisingly, even RoboCop. Unfortunately, he failed the read the fine print of his contract with OCP and the other corps and didn't realize that all of these ideas automatically became property of the consortium of companies. He also created the dream machine used by Dreamarama. Not surprisingly, being cheated out of a billion dollars (his asking price for his concepts) sent him off the rails and he attacked Fodor until a security guard shot him in the back, which had the unintended side effect of causing him to fall out of a window. What is it with the RoboCop franchise and people falling out of windows? Amazingly, Cybex survived, but as a paraplegic and now he wants revenge by blackmail and murder.

Cybex's first target is Fodor, who is a closet machochist who dreams of being tied to a post and whipped with barbwire by a dude dressed as a Nazi. Cybex invades and takes over the security and computer systems at Fodor's mansion, blackmails Fodor into transferring his entire fortune to him, then somehow implants a nightmare in Fodor's mind of him being eaten by a monster.

So what's RoboCop doing during this? Well, he arrests one guy at the Dreamarama for an unpaid fine, then busts up a mugging. He's nothing if not efficient. After that, he gets summoned to OCP headquarters to talk with the "Old Man", the name given to the CEO of the company. There, the Old Man gives a run down on Cybex while the local news begins reporting on murders being committed by test subjects of some doctor's dream therapy experiments. There's also some discussion between the Old Man and the head of Nixco before RoboCop's arrival about the events of the previous two issues of the comic, but I don't possess those two, so I'm lost on what that's about, other than a guy gets turned into a cyborg assassin.

After the meeting, RoboCop heads off to Harrison Fodor's mansion to check on him and ends up having to bust his way in when he realizes that Fodor is in trouble. Unfortunately, that sets off the mansion's defenses and RoboCop finds himself attacked by cyberdogs and after finishing them off, has to navigate a minefield and a laser mesh. Goddamn. He manages to save Fodor and gets a partial trace of Cybex's hideout and heads off to find him. Cybex, meanwhile, reveals that he's prepared for RoboCop by creating a cyber-gorilla, because when you're about to get your ass kicked by a cyborg cop, it's good to have a cyborg gorilla on hand.

All in all, it's not a bad issue, but not having the first two and the fourth issues takes away from it. The art by Lee Sullivan is okay, but didn't wow me, but it's pretty much what you expect to find in a comic from the 80s and early 90s. The writing by Alan Grant was okay as well.

Rating: 6.5/10.

Thursday, July 4, 2013

The best way to celebrate the Fourth of July is to the music of the man who won this country it's independence: Hulk Hogan!

Many people don't even realize this, but Hulk Hogan actually traveled back in time to the American Revolution and proceeded to kick so much British ass, because what ya gonna do, brother, when Hulkamania is running wild all over you!

h/t to heinekenrana for posting the video on her Tumblr.

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Oh dang, guys, 100k hits

Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaang. Took a couple of years, though. Still, I never expected to actually hit 100k, so I don't have anything prepared for this occasion...except for gifs.

Gawd, Batman, not everything is about your dead parents!

Found this while looking for the source of that fake Spidey cover.

Yes, Bruce, we get it, your parents were gunned down by a rival gangsta rapper.
Via Green Lantern Butts Forever.
I'm starting to think he just keeps mentioning that his PARENTS ARE DEAD! because he likes the attention and sympathy.

Or he could just be a dickhole, in which case, the ending to this comic is entirely appropriate.

Let's be honest here, he had that coming for a long time.
Via Scans Daily.
I think I might use the last one as a Christmas card.

Spider-Man might want to lay off the Hostess Fruit Pies.

He probably has the diabeetus too.
Much like the evidence concocted by Elim Garak and Benjamin Sisko to trick the Romulans into entering the Dominion War on the side of the Federation, this cover is unfortunately fake. It was created by Kerry Callen as part of a series of showing what it would look like if DC Comics published some of Marvel's titles. It really encapsulates the zany and often times batshit insane stories that the former put out back during the Silver and Bronze Ages. Check out the rest here.

Now for a confession: Up until today, I thought this was the cover to an actual Spider-Man comic. It wasn't until I was about to post it here that I finally noticed the DC Comics logo. A quick reverse image search on Tineye turned up this Buzzfeed article. In my defense, though, it wouldn't be surprising to see Spidey like that, given the number of ads Hostess Fruit Pie adds he was in back in the day.

Friday, June 28, 2013

Is Apple Campus 2: Electric Boogaloo really just a big stargate (an iGate, if you will)?

People seem to think that the futuristic headquarters of Apple's new campus looks like a space ship and I have to agree:

Credit: The Future Journalism Project.
But you know what? It looks a lot like something else from science fiction. It wasn't until I saw this post on The Future Journalism Project that it hit me like Mjolnir to the head: that thing looks like a frakking stargate! True, it doesn't look like the ones from Stargate: SG-1, but it does bear a resemblance to the ones seen in Stargate: Atlantis.

Via Stargate Wiki.
Mark my words, on the day they dedicate that thing, Apple will somehow stand it up and dial an address to another gate. The DHD is probably an iPhone app.

Can you tell that I miss the Stargate franchise? Because I do. I miss it like Browncoats miss new episodes of Firefly. But in all seriousness, would anybody be surprised if Apple or Google built a stargate? Of course not.

Check out the poster for the Stallone/Schwarzenegger action flick Escape Plan

The premise is that Sylvester Stallone plays a guy who designs escape-proof prisons and not surprising at all, ends up being imprisoned in one. Equally not surprising is that he teams up with Arnold Schwarzenegger's character to escape the inescapable prison. Of course, if they manage to escape, then it really wasn't escape-proof, was it? That will probably hurt future business. Wouldn't it also make him a target for anybody wanting to escape from one of the prisons he design or who wants to bust somebody out?

Oh and Jesus plays the evil prison warden. The movie comes out October 18th.

Yeah, this is probably why the Eleventh Doctor will regenerate

And none of us Whovians can say this would be a shocker.

It would either be bowties, fezzes, or fish fingers and custard. If Ten was the Oncoming Storm, Eleven is the kid who has to wear water wings to take a shower. The comic is from Paint Doktah Who. There are two panels that precede it, depicting Nine and Ten's regenerations, so head on over and check out the full comic.

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Hot diggity damn! Finally a reason to buy a Nintendo DS!

"I Don't Know" is a pretty accurate descriptor for this show.
Both pictures via ComicsAlliance. The title of this post is pretty hyperbolic, as there's a plethora games that have made me desire a DS. Mostly, Pokemon, Scribblenauts, and Professor Layton. These games do remind me that I need to watch Adventure Time and Regular Show more often. I have a bad tendency to forget to watch television, which is surprising, given the sheer amount that I used to watch.

The games will be out sometime this fall and will also be available for the current-gen consoles.

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Peter Brady from The Brady Bunch probably works for the NSA now

Unfortunately, Peter was recently reassigned to review Google search results. The poor bastard.
Credit: Collider.
 There was an episode of The Brady Bunch that was on TV today where Peter (played by Christopher Knight) uses a tape recorder (kids, ask your parents) to spy on his siblings. Maybe there's an alternate universe somewhere where the Brady family weren't fictional and Peter went on to become an analyst for the National Security Agency?

This is me being topical with current events.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

To watch Under The Dome or not to watch Under The Dome, that is the question

I've been seeing commercials lately for the upcoming TV adaption of Stephen King's Under The Dome and today I've been debating whether or not to watch it when it premieres June 24.

(Ignore the fact that the video says the show is a mini-series. It isn't)

The question is whether or not it's worth investing time into watching Under The Dome because in all likelihood, it'll be cancelled. On the other hand, it might beat the odds and become a a hit like Once Upon A Time and Grimm. Or it could end up like The Event or FlashForward. At the very least, it'll be different from the usual network offerings. Now to butcher Shakespeare:

To Dome or not to Dome, that is the question?
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to watch a show that might be cancelled or watch it and enjoy the ride.

I'd like to apologize to The Bard and English lit majors everywhere.

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

How to disable the Kinect's camera on the Xbox One in five easy steps

You might want to get a pen and paper and write this down:

1. Acquire a roll electrical tape:

2. Tear off a piece of electrical tape.
3. Apply electrical tape to the Kinect's camera so that it covers the lens.
4. ???
5. Profit!

Thoughts on last night's Raw

The opening match/segment with Triple H and Vince McMahon was actually pretty funny, especially when the latter stole the match bell. The rest of that particular storyline was bleh, yet reminded me of the McMahon-Helmsley shenanigans from the early 00s, before the Invasion. I couldn't shake the subtle hint of a possible heel turn for Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley. Who knows, maybe she's making a power play by pitting her father and her husband against each other.

But, hey, Curtis Axel is like 4-0 against Trips at this point and that's just...Perfect. Speaking of which, I'm hoping that WWE isn't going to put the Intercontinental title around Axel's waist already. I do think he might very well be either a WWE or World Heavyweight champion in a couple of years, but this just seems too soon. I know he's been on the roster for several years now and was in the New Nexus, but I just think that rushing him into a championship this soon after his re-debut as Curtis Axel might do more harm than good. It also bugs me because it signals that Wade Barrett is stuck in mid-card limbo and that's just sad. Also, Fandango has a concussion, so we didn't get to see his Lisa Frank outfit this week.

Wyatt Family promos! Wyatt Family promos everywhere! Whoever is making these deserves a raise and no less than two hookers.

Did everybody come up with Team RK-NO as a name for Bryan and Orton's team? Because it seems like it.

Daniel Bryan is the Best in the World. They need to put him in more matches with Seth Rollins. It seems like every time Bryan steps into the ring, it's the match of the goddamn year, regardless of who is opponent is. Bryan can pull a great match out of Ryback and that's quite a statement. The Bryan/Rollins match was beyond phenomenal. I loved how they kept putting each other in the surfboard hold, then breaking out of it. Bryan even whipped out a variation of the surfboard with the dragon sleeper hold. This match was so fucking good, Owen Hart's Force Ghost appeared to Bryan and Rollins after the match to congratulate them.

And can we just talk about that pop they both received during that match? I've never heard one louder, not even during the Attitude Era whenever Stone Cold or The Rock's music would play. I'd like to imagine that Vince and Trips were standing backstage watching this match and going "Yeah, we definitely need to get some more Ring of Honor guys..."

Mark Henry promo video! The King of all Hosses is coming back soon!

Then there was the big reveal of Kaitlyn's secret admirer, who turned out to be Big E. Langston. It was pretty ho-hum until Big E dropped Kaitlyn like a sack of sexy potatoes and AJ revealed that she had orchestrated the whole thing as part of long running plot against her former best friend. This was actually one of the best parts of last night's Raw, surprisingly. This was a storyline that's been running since 2011 when the Chickbusters split, and WWE carrying on a storyline involving two Divas for this long is amazing. I just hope they're not giving false hope for the future of the Divas Division, though.

Vince McMahon "doesn't hug other men" except for when he does.

Holy shit, Damien Sandow actually won a singles match! Aw, shit, here comes Douchebag Sheamus.

Who thought it was a good idea to promo Hardee's new hamburger by putting one down in front of the recent heart attack victim? I don't think he actually ate, but he was looking at it like it was an 18 year old cheerleader washing a car in a white t-shirt.

The only thing worth mentioning about the "showdown" between John Cena and Ryback were the lumberjacks. It's nice to see that Alex Riley, Ted DiBiase, Jr., and JTG are still employed.

My rating: 9/10. The Bryan/Rollins match gets an infinity/infinity.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

I don't think I've ever seen a corporation prostrate themselves like J.C. Penney does in their new apology commercial

While I was watching Supernatural last night, this J.C. Penney commercial kept airing where the company apologizes to its customers. It was more than just an apology, though, it was begging. Check out the commercial below and see for yourself:

It's almost like they're a woman who cheated on her girlfriend and is trying desperately to get back with her.
Please, baby, I need you to buy our shit.
It's not that far off base, apparently. I did some googling today and as it turns out, the commercial is a mea culpa from the retailer to its customer base. Back in 2011, J.C. Penney hired a guy named Ron Johnson, a former Apple exec who came up with the idea for Apple Stores and Genius Bars, to run their company and well, it turned into a clusterfuck. He managed to alienate and drive off older and longstanding customers by getting rid of discounts and coupons, which had been the bread and butter of the company for decades. He also came up with this idea to put "stores" inside of each outlet. These "stores" were just areas within each J.C. Penney that featured clothes and products by a single company/label. These, at least, were successful, but not enough to save Johnson's job; the company shit-canned him last month and rehired his predecessor.

While Ron Johnson's run in the company was mostly a flop, it was during it that J.C. Penney became more pro-LGBT. First, they hired Ellen DeGeneres as spokeswoman, then quite boldly, ran sales ads featuring same-sex parents. Needless to say, that pissed off the right-wingers, but really, that's just icing on the cake. Truthfully, when I first saw the commercial, I thought that they had backpedaled and were apologizing for their stance. As far I know, they haven't and I hope they won't.