Time to stretch

Source: Twitter.

Chiropracty is weird, man.

Professional wrestling is serious business

And professional wrestlers are very serious people.

I saw this at the store. Had to put it on and take a picture.
You’re welcOme, eVERybody!@FinnBalor pic.twitter.com/ItT1hDsKal

— Kevin Owens (@FightOwensFight) December 9, 2017

Very serious.

Anyways, here's a photo of WWE's Carmella riding a bus with her newly won (again) Money in the Bank briefcase

#CurrentMood Heading home with my baby 💰💰💰💰 pic.twitter.com/JPQqyDl3bC

— Carmella (@CarmellaWWE) June 28, 2017

Context for the non-wrestling crowd: The briefcase contains a contract for a title match for the Smackdown Women's Championship. The case is won in a special ladder match where the winner has to climb a ladder (duh) and unhook the briefcase hanging over the ring. While the MitB match has been around for like a decade or more (it started out as a series of Wrestlemania matches before getting its own pay-per-view), this was the first year that women got one of their own.

Unfortunately, they had to redo the match last night before the first time around ended with controversary when James Ellsworth, Carmella's valet/manager/hanger-on climbed the ladder himself during the match, unhooked the briefcase and dropped it to her. So the non-really in power authority figure, Daniel Bryan, voided the outcome the following Tuesday and all five women - Carmella, Becky Lynch, Charlotte Flair (take a wild guess who her dad is), Natalya, and Tamina - got a do over.

Which Carmella won, but this time she did it on her own. Sure, Ellsworth did a run-in and tried to repeat his performance, but Lynch put a stop to that, but Carmella still did the deed herself.

A moment of beauty: NXT Women's Champion Asuka

The world's cutest coldblooded murder machine (via Twitter).

OF COURSE John Cena can speak Mandarin

Because he is a man of culture and refinement who wears jorts while wrestling backwoods cult leaders and dudes with bad haircuts.

Thank you, AJ

(via IGN)

So it was announced yesterday that AJ Lee is retiring from WWE. Huh.

You ever have one of those days where it just does not pay to get out of bed? I'll post something longer on Monday, because this isn't something to be rushed.

Thoughts on the Seth Rollins/Zahra Schreiber nude photo leaks and why it might be revenge porn

For the non-wrestling fans, Seth Rollins is professional wrestler currently working for WWE. Zahra Schreiber works for the same company, but in their development territory, NXT. Well, yesterday, a nude picture of Schreiber appeared on Rollins' Twitter and I believe his Instagram account and were swiftly deleted. At some point after this, nude pictures of Rollins himself appeared on the Twitter of Rollins fiancee, Leighla Schultz. Now whether Schultz posted all these pictures herself or if the accounts were hacked by a third-party, I don't know, but regardless it was wrong. Those pictures were posted without the consent of either Rollins or Schreiber.



To me, this is no different than when all those nude pictures of celebrities were leaked in The Fappening. Certainly none of those people consented to have what were private pictures published on the internet for people to gawk at. Now I've seen people on Tumblr claim that Rollins and Schreiber deserved it because of Seth "having" a nude picture of the latter woman. First off, how do we even know that he had that picture in his possession before it was posted? His accounts were likely hacked and it wouldn't be hard for someone to just, you know, upload the picture. The pictures of Rollins could have been ones he sent to his fiancee. I mean, it's not a giant leap that a hacker could have gained access to private pictures on their phones, that's how The Fappening happened, after all.

Now, in the title of his post, I said it might be revenge porn. It really depends on whether or not Leighla Schultz posted the pictures of Seth Rollins and Zahra Schreiber. If she did, then it's definitely revenge porn. It would be different from a guy posting pictures of his ex to "get back" at her.

What I don't think people are considering though is the effect this is going to have on the career of Schreiber and to a lesser extent, Rollins. The latter will survive because he has main event status and Stephanie MacMahon and Triple H to shield him from Vince’s wrath. Worst case scenarios for him would be a suspension, losing his MiTB briefcase in a failed cash in, or jobbing for a while to guys like Zack Ryder.

Zahara Schreiber, on the other hand, has no such protection. She could be lose her job over someone posting a single nude picture of her without her consent, so don’t think that what happened here is victimless.

SummerSlam 2014 predictions

Rob Van Dam vs. Antonio Cesaro: Why?

Prediction: Cesaro if there's a god. Getting reeeeeeal tired of WWE waffling on Cesaro.

Bray Wyatt vs. Jericho: Second time in a row for these two because WWE doesn't have anybody else for Bray to feud with.

Prediction: If Bray doesn't win, then they're burying him like they buried Ryback. Seriously, the man cannot continue losing PPVs and still be seen with a credible threat. To say nothing that a victory does nothing for a part-timer like Jericho.

Rusev vs. Jack Swagger: This feud is pretty boring and only barely kept afloat by Lana and Zeb. Even then, I could care less.

Prediction: Sylvester Stallone shows up and KOs both of them. Failing that, it depends on how much longer they plan on keeping this thing rolling. Swagger should win in that case, but again, who cares?

AJ Lee vs. Paige: If AJ wins again, then does the feud end and if not, what's keeping it going?

Prediction: No idea.

Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins: Will they finally get to fight? God, I hope so.

Prediction: Dean to end the feud and Rollins to continue it.

Dolph Ziggler vs. 80s gay pornstar Miz (Champ) for the Intercontinental Championship: Bad News Barrett got injured months back and had to vacate the IC title. For reasons unknown, they decided to give the belt to Miz. Not having anything for him to do after that, they put him in a feud with Ziggler, who likewise had nothing to do.

Prediction: FOR ALL THAT IS HOLY, LET ZIGGLER WIN FOR ONCE.

Stephanie McMahon vs. Brie Bella (or should that be Brie Bryan? Brie Bella-Bryan?): In a nutshell, Brie "quit" WWE months ago so that her injured husband could keep a title that he was stripped of anyways and this started a feud between the two women, with Steph putting Brie's sister Nikki in one handicap match after another. Eventually the two confronted each other on an episode of Monday Night Raw where Brie was attending as a fan. This led to a face off and Steph slapped the ever loving shit out of her. This, in turn, led to Steph being arrested for assault.

When Steph got out of jail and hardened by her experience like only prison life can (those must have been some tough few hours), she tried to convince Brie to drop the charges. The latter did in exchange for getting her job back...and a match at SummerSlam. Yada, yada, yada, Steph ended up giving both Bellas Pedigrees (which was fucking awesome) during the contract signing, but not before Triple H got dropped by one hell of a slap from Brie.

Then it all turned to shit with WWE's writers stealing one of the stupidest storylines not just in TNA, but all of wrestling history by having Steph troll Brie with the "revelation" that Daniel had been carrying on an affair with his physical therapist. TNA did something like this that involved a woman named Claire Lynch claiming that AJ Styles had knocked her up. It was a terrible, terrible, shitty storyline, but WWE decided to use it.

Prediction: I keep seeing rumors that Nikki Bella is going to turn heel on her sister and that'll set up a feud between them. I hope not. I don't have a prediction for this one because all I want to see is Brie using a Knee Plus and the Yes! Lock (both finishing moves of her husband) and Steph using the Pedigree.

Roman Reigns vs. Randy Orton: I'm assuming that they're building towards a Reigns vs. Triple H match at some point in the future, but Roman has to go through Randy first to finish their feud.

Prediction: Roman Reigns.

John Cena (Champ)  vs. MY CLIENT BROOOOOOOOOOCK LESNAR CONQUERED THE STREAK AT WRESTLEMANIA for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship: I wonder who Lesnar's opponent is going to be at the next PPV? Please let it be Cesaro!

Prediction: Brock Lesnar. All the hype and rumors have him winning, but WWE could easily swerve us, but I doubt it. I've seen rumors that Cena is going to take time off to do movie commitments.

How did my predictions for Battleground go? Not so well

I got exactly one right. ONE.

Legend
Italics: Who I thought would win.
Bold: Who actually won.

Naomi vs. Cameron. Whhhhhhhhhy?

The Usos vs. Luke Harper and Erick Rowan of The Wyatts. This was a disappointment, but my guess is that they don't want Harper and Rowan to get straps until Bray does. Meh.

AJ Lee vs. Paige. Didn't actually predict a winner, but AJ winning makes sense because it set up Paige turning on AJ the next night. That heel turn was pretty epic, by the way. Paige gave AJ an ass whoopin' that you normally don't see from the Divas outside of PPVs.

Seth Rollins vs. Dean Ambrose. Match ended in a forfeit because this match up deserves to be done at SummerSlam.

That battle royal with too many damn names to type out. Miz. Yes, The Miz won, last eliminating Dolph Ziggler.

I only hope this sets the stage for Ziggles to win the title later on. The two did have a real damn good match on Raw, with Ziggles winning, so maybe that's the road they're on. Of course, I mentioned the possibility that they might put the IC title back on Bad News Barrett when he comes back, so there's that.

Bray Wyatt vs. Chris Jericho. Dear WWE, please stop booking Bray to lose at PPVs. You have periously close to Rybacking the guy. I keep hearing stuff about some guy named Kevin Dunn - a brown-nosing lackey of Vince McMahon, from what I understand - trying to sabotage Triple H and his rising influence in the company. If the stories are true, then he's apparently responsible for some of the bad booking and burying of talent in WWE.

I'm hoping that Y2J simply drew first blood in this feud and Bray will prevail. Man needs to start winning PPVs or else he'll be tag teaming with Heath Slater a year from now.

Jack Swagger vs. Rusev. Well, the match didn't end in a clear victory for Rusev, but rather a count-out after sending Swaggie into a ring post. Oddly, the next night on Raw, Michael Cole either misspoke or tried to retcon it into a win by submission for Rusev. He did lock Swaggie into the Accolade (the camel clutch) and made him tap, but that was after the match.

John Cena vs. Roman Reigns vs. Kurly Kane vs. Randy Orton. The one match I actually got right. Yay. Now he gets to go on to SummerSlam and drop the title to MY CLIENT BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCK LESNAR CONQUERED THE UNDERTAKER'S STREAK AT WRESTLEMANIA.

WWE Battlegrounds 2014 predictions

I forgot that the PPV was happening tonight, so let's get this thing out real quick.

Pre-show match: Naomi vs. Cameron: They used to be in a tag team called The Funktadactyls, then split like a week ago. Naomi can wrestle. Cameron, not so much.

Prediction: Naomi and hopefully they send Cameron back down to NXT for training or she becomes a manager or something.

Luke Harper and Erick Rowan of The Wyatt Family vs. The Usos for the Tag Team titles: A rematch from the last PPV. Rowan and Harper won a tag match for the right to another shot at the titles. Well that, and WWE isn't exactly bursting with tag teams at the moment.

Prediction: Rowan and Harper because as much as I like The Usos, the former need a run with the titles.

Speaking of Wyatts: Bray Wyatt vs. Chris "The Man of 1004 Holds" Jericho: Y2J came back for another one of his runs in-between touring and recording Fozzy albums and while it looked like he was going to start a feud with a returning Miz, he instead got into one with Bray. Ought to be good as both guys can bring it in the ring.

Prediction: Bray because Jericho is the perfect part-timer in that he's just there to help put over the new guys.

AJ Lee (Champion) vs. Paige for the Divas Championship: Paige made her debut the night after WrestleMania 30 during AJ's promo about retaining the title at the PPV. Paige then proceeded to beat AJ and win the title, which she held until June 30th, when AJ returned from hiatus (and her honeymoon with CM Punk) and won it back. Interestingly, they've been acting sort buddy-buddy with each other. Not exactly friends, but not like enemies either. I think the term is "frenemies".

Prediction: No idea. It would interesting if they traded the belt back and forth until it culminated in a ladder match. Either way, I just want them to form a tag team called Team Besties and go on the road, solving mysteries with Zack Ryder, Alicia Fox, and Dean Ambrose.

That bigass battle royal for the Intercontinental Championship with way too many names to type, so fuck that noise: Wade Barrett was stripped of the title after Swaggie threw him into a barrier and dislocated his shoulder bad enough to require surgery.

Prediction: Depends on WWE's plans with the title and Barrett.
If they plan on putting the belt back on Barrett after his return: Probably Dolph Ziggler.
If they don't plan on putting the belt back on Barrett after he comes back: Hopefully Cesaro because he could use whatever boost the IC title could give him.
There's a third option here - title unification. Sheamus is in the match and he's already United States Champion. This would be a chance to unify the two and bring back the Light Heavyweight Championship (as advocated by Okori in these two posts over at The Wrestling Blog). I don't think it's likely because WWE is too smart to let a title unification happen in a battle royal when it would be more of a draw as a singles match.

Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins: They've been feuding since Seth betrayed The Shield (and broke our hearts) and join The Authority. Dean has vowed to cockblock Seth every time the latter tries to cash in his briefcase. Both of these guys are excellent in the ring and are two of the brightest stars in the post-CM Punk era of WWE, especially with the absence of Daniel Bryan.

Prediction: Not a clue. I want this to end in a DQ so that their feud can continue.

Jack Swagger vs. Rusev: WWE finally got around to putting the "Real American" against the anti-American, pro-Russian brute.Swaggie and his manager Zeb Colter are now faces and it looks like the xenophobia and racism has been swept under the rug. I gotta say, I'm liking this feud because it has a bit of an epic feel to it. It isn't on that level yet, but it could be. Seeing Swaggie standing toe to toe with Rusev is just cool.

Prediction: Same as the Dean and Seth match, I don't want there to be a winner. I want them both to be counted out because they're too busy throwing bombs at each other outside of the ring to care. If I was booking this, I would have the next two matches between them end with no winner, with second to last match being a last standing match, which ends in a draw after they both lay each other out and can't make the ten count. The final match would be an "I Quit" match that ends up Rusev giving up while locked in Swagger's Patriot Lock.

John Cena vs. Roman Reigns vs. Randy Orton vs. Kane for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship: Cena would play ball with The Authority, so they pit him in a Fatal Four-Way. Boy, they're really pushing Roman to the top pretty quick, aren't they?

Prediction: Cena most likely so that they can set up a match between him and...MY CLIENT BROOOOOOOOOOOOOCK LESNAR CONQUERED THE STREAK AT WRESTLEMANIA. *ahem*. Paul Heyman offered a Plan C to The Authority in the event that Plan A (Cena losing to either Orton or Kane) and Plan B (Seth Rollins cashing in his Money in the Bank contract afterwards) both fail. It's obvious that Plan C is Lesnar. My guess is it'll be at SummerSlam and Lesnar will win the WWE title.

On the other hand, it's entirely possible that WWE could pull the trigger on Roman and put the belts on him. He's pretty damn popular right now and they might just decide to bypass secondary title runs and put him on the main stage. The problem here is Lesnar. Does WWE really want to put the belts on Roman if they plan on crowning Lesnar at the next PPV? Then again, who's to say he'll even win. Winning the WWE World Heavyweight Championship and then defeating the guy who ended The Undertaker's Streak would be a pretty goddamn big feather in Roman's cap.

Let's see if I get any right again. I got all but one match right at the last PPV, so I'm hoping for a repeat.

Man I've been posting a lot of wrestling stuff lately

Can't help it, just got a second wind with that particular fandom of mine. It's a great time to be a fan because WWE is filling their main roster with a lot of indie guys and they have loads more down in NXT. The non-indie guys are great too. Bray Wyatt is the next Undertaker without a doubt. Cesaro and Roman Reigns are going to be the next big things. Dean Ambrose is probably one of the best decisions WWE ever made and whoever hired him deserves a bonus, a blowjob, and a promotion.

Don't worry, I'm going to post non-wrestling stuff again. I'm just waiting for the euphoria to fade.

Cesaro is putting the finishing touches on his Sagat cosplay

Cesaro:

(via krevlornswath)

(via gonads-mcelgin)

Sagat from Street Fighter:

(via Street Fighter wiki)

All he needs is the chest scar. Even the Swiss Superman himself made the connection:

Making an eyepatch look iconic #MainEvent #sagat #tigeruppercut #villain @WWENetwork  pic.twitter.com/zVFZVW09Zf
— Cesaro (@WWECesaro) July 2, 2014

WWE wrestling Emma arrested yesterday for sixth-degree larceny

The police also booked her for having a concealed weapon without a permit when they discovered her pink snake hand puppet during their frisk.

Via The Courant:

HARTFORD — A female WWE wrestler was arrested on a shoplifting charge Monday, police said.

Tenille Dashwood of Winter Park, Fla. was charged with sixth-degree larceny after she stole an item from Wal-Mart, police said. The alleged theft was reported to police about I p.m.

Dashwood, whose ring name is "Emma," appeared in community court Tuesday. She was told to do community service, according to her lawyer, Hubert Santos.
Santos said outside the courtroom that his client's arrest stemmed from a mistake. She was using the self-checkout machine at the Hartford Walmart when she bought about $30 of items but forgot to pay for an iPod or iPad case, Santos said.

According to the police, it was an iHome Slim Swivel iPad mini case valued $21.14. Well goddamn, ready the gaol! Not to worry, I doubt that she'll be released. I mean, most of the roster has been arrested at some point, usually for DUI or in the case of RVD and Jack Swagger, possession of weed. I don't think they'll punish her because what's the worst they can do to her? She's already paired off with Santino Marella in a godawful one-sided romance angle. Not even Triple H could bury her any deeper.

But on a more serious note: arresting somebody for not paying for a $21 item? Yeah, I get that it was theft regardless of whether Emma intended to pay for it or not, but going to all of that trouble to arrest, book, and arraign somebody for something that cost that little? I'd have just told her what was up, then had her go back to the Wal-Mart and pay for it. Arresting her and everything was just a waste of time and resources better spent going after real crimes.

Stephanie McMahon is the whitest mom walking the face of this planet

(via WWE.com)

I like Triple H is not even looking at his wife. He's just like "yes, this banner of the cover of WWE 2k15 is nice, I shall look at it for a while."

Dean and Dolph are the only good ones

(via What if other Superstars rocked face paint?: photos | WWE.com)

So how did my WWE Money in the Bank match predictions fair?

Pretty good, actually. The only one I got wrong was the match between The Usos and the Wyatts. I predicted that the latter would win, but they didn't. That should have been foreboding of how the main event was going to go. Paige won her match, as did Goldust and Stardust. Rusev was victorious over Big E, who I think is turning into a Baptist preacher or possibly channeling MLK. I didn't predict a winner for the Summer Rae - Layla match, but the latter won. Fandango wore a bedazzled referee shirt with his logo on the back. There was a match between Adam Rose and Damien Sandow that I didn't know about and was just filler. Speaking of Paige's match against Naomi, I did finally learn what a Stump Puller was in pro wrestling:

(via monkeychusetts)

Then there's the two ladder matches. I couldn't decide on a winner for the briefcase match, so I left that prediction blank. Seth Rollins surprisingly won that one, thanks to interference from Kane. Bad News Barrett wasn't in the match because of his shoulder injury. Dean "hurt" or for real hurt his shoulder and left for a few moments before returning and almost winning. Kofi proceeded to try and murder Seth after that. Apparently, Seth died three times during that match and rose from the dead each time. We're all absolved of our sins now, I guess. :3

Second ladder match I predicted John Cena would win and I was right. That was a no-brainer, as I pointed out that Cena will only be carrying the belt until he drops it to either a returning Daniel Bryan or, if the rumors are true, to Brock Lesnar at Battleground next month or at SummerSlam in August. In that case, it makes more sense to use Cena as a transitional champion than say Cesaro, Roman Reigns, or Bray Wyatt who are all future world champions. Can't tell the marks and the dimwits who absolutely lost their shit over Cena winning last night with their usual proclamations of no longer watching WWE programming or whatever the crybabies say when they can't see the forest for the trees, but that's for another post.

My predictions for WWE's Money in the Bank

(via Cageside Seats)

The Usos (champs) vs. Luke Harper and Erick Rowan of the Wyatt Family for the Tag Team Championship: This all started during Bray Wyatt's feud with John Cena when The Usos, for whatever reason, started involving themselves by acting as Cena's backup. Harper and Rowan have several non-title victories over the tag champs, so naturally they're going to get a shot at the belts.

Prediction: Harper and Rowan. I think the WWE is keen on at least part of the Wyatt Family walking out of MITB with gold (or in this case, copper. The front plates of the belts look like pennies!). Don't count The Usos out though; they've had a nice long run with the titles and will undoubtedly have more reigns in the future.

Paige (champ) vs. Naomi for the Divas Championship: Apparently all it takes to become number one contender is beating the champ in one match. This really just shows the unfortunate weakness in the Divas Division for which creative and the bookers are to blame. The division needs more competitiveness!

Prediction: Paige will continue her reign. She's the new hotness in the division and she'll probably hold the title for a while long. Who knows, maybe they're waiting until AJ Lee comes back so they set up a match between the two. As for Naomi, I know she is a future Divas champ. I also believe that The Funkadactyls will split after this, if not the same night. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if Naomi loses because Cameron interferes in the match and turns heel.

Goldust and Stardust vs. Rybaxel. Stardust is the single greatest thing I have ever seen and I will fight anybody who says otherwise. Rybaxel is enjoyable to watch.

Prediction: Read above. Goldy and Stardust win. Congress launches an investigation into what the hell Dusty Rhodes did to make his sons the way they are now.

Summer Rae vs. Layla with Fandango (Faaaaaaaandaaaaaaaaangoooooo) as the special guest referee: Rae used to be Fandango's dancing partner/valet until he dumped her over Twitter and replaced her with Layla. This started a feud between the two after the former returned from filming the next Marine sequel. Honestly, this is a boring as hell feud. I feel sorry for Fandango, I really do. The guy's got the looks, talent, and mic skills to be a top performer and he's just above Santino Marella on the ladder.

Prediction: Nobody wins. We all lose. Why is Fandango punished like this?

Rusev (with Lana) vs. Big E: Rusev is a monster heel with an anti-American and pro-Russian gimmick. Obviously its a "ripped from the headlines" move with a helping of Ivan Drago and Ludmilla from Rocky IV. Literally, the only way Rusev and Lana could draw more heat is if he formed a tag team with the corpse of Osama bin Laden. The weird/facepalmy thing though is that WWE's bookers keep putting him in squash matches against African-American wrestlers. He's wrestled against like two white guys since his debut, Zack Ryder and Heath Slater. Big E is I guess representing Apollo Creed in this match and we all know how that went down in the movie.

Prediction: Rusev, but really, we're all winners whenever Lana does that slow turn of hers in those skirts she wears. Have mercy! Really, I'm hoping for two post-match possibilities:

1. R-Truth, Xavier Woods, and  Kofi Kingston come out, beat up Rusev and form a new incarnation of The Nation of Domination with Big E.
2. Jack Swagger comes out to save Big E from a post-match beat down by Rusev. The fact that the All-American American whose current gimmick is that he's a patriot hasn't had a confrontation against the anti-American Rusev is a gross oversight. The only thing I can figure is that WWE is afraid of making him and Zeb Colter into faces while they're still running with xenophobic gimmick.

Money in the Bank Ladder match for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship: John Cena vs. Sheamus vs. Bray Wyatt vs. Randy Orton vs. Cesaro vs. Kane vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. Roman Reigns: Writing those names took a while. Basically, Daniel Bryan was stripped of the championship because he had to have legit neck surgery and couldn't compete. So instead of a briefcase, both belts will be hanging above the ring.

Prediction: Probably John Cena. WWE needs to put the belts on somebody safe until either Bryan comes back or Brock Lesnar wins them, whichever comes first. Because of that, they're not going to give their rising stars like Bray, Roman, and Cesaro the belts for what might be a short run. Orton would be my second choice, followed by Kane, since they're both multi-time champs and both have beef with Bryan. Sheamus would be my fourth choice because he's already U.S. Champion and god knows if him winning would trigger Goldberg chants.

Of the new guys, I'd pick Cesaro since if he has to drop the title to Lesnar, it would be both an excellent match and it wouldn't wreck his momentum. If he drops it to Bryan, then it'll be a five star match for sure. Plus, Cesaro is already 33, so now is about the time he should be starting a world title reign.

Money in the Bank Ladder match for the briefcase: Bad News Barrett vs. Seth Rollins vs. Dean Ambrose vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Jack Swagger vs. Rob Van Dam: Goddamn, my fingers are cramping. Anyway, the briefcase contains a contract guaranteeing the winner a shot at the WWE World Heavyweight Championship any time until the next MITB. Winners have waited months to cash theirs in, some have done it the night after. Kane cashed his in the same time he won it. Dean Ambrose got into this match because he threatened to interfere and steal the briefcase otherwise. There's some question as to whether or not Bad News Barrett is even going to be in this match. Apparently he injured his shoulder (separated it, I think) during a match last Tuesday. If he is out, then I wonder who will replace him? Man, imagine if it was Brock Lesnar and he won.

Prediction: I have no clue, really. I know RVD, Swaggie, and Kofi aren't winning it. BNB would be my pick, but if he's really out, then maybe Ziggler? I can't really see Rollins or Ambrose winning it, but that's up in the air.

Oh my god, they fired Evan Bourne! You bastards!

Okay, maybe I'm not that upset over WWE firing Evan Bourne along with several other wrestlers today, but dang, he was awesome. My feels are blunted by the fact that he hadn't been on TV since like Batista quit four years ago. He was suspended for violating the company's wellness policy for a second time (literally two weeks after coming off suspension for his first violation), then fucked up his foot in a car accident. After that, he never returned to TV. Others who were fired include:

Brodus Clay: Somebody call...Ernest 'The Cat' Miller and tell him he can have his gimmick back, but he'll have to fight Naomi for the entrance music.
Aksana: I firmly believe that with the proper training, Aksana could have been a power wrestler. She certainly had the physical build for it. I think her termination had to do with her breaking Naomi's eye socket during a match. It was an accident, but WWE probably didn't want someone around who could do that kind of damage by accident.
JTG: Oh hey, he was still employed!
Curt Hawkins: See above.
Yoshi Tatsu: Damn it.
Teddy Long: No wait-a-minute playah...
Camacho: Since Hunico is now Sin Cara, I guess they decided that his tag partner was expendable.
Drew McIntyre: Shame, because he had the talent and looks to be a big deal.
Jinder Mahal: They hindered Jinder.
and a ref named Marc Harris

So probably the biggest effect of these firings is the apparent dissolution of 3MB, the stable McIntyre and Mahal were part of with Heath Slater. Of course, the latter could just get new peeps.

He's got the whole world in his hands...

This is creepy. *clap clap clapclapclap*

Man, whoever is writing the Bray Wyatt/John Cena feud deserves a raise, a bonus, and at least two prostitutes, because it.is.gold.

She's a real Paige-Turner

(via NXT's Facebook)

Paige, WWE wrestler and dual NXT Women's Champion and WWE Divas Champion, winning the latter in her debut match on the main roster. She also has one wicked submission move, the Scorpion Crosslock.

(via The Wrestling Blog)

It's described as a reverse sharpshooter (also called the scorpion deathlock) and a double chickenwing. Basically, what this means is that she wraps her opponent's legs around her right leg, grabs their arms and pulls back while squatting.