Thursday, June 12, 2014

Oh my god, they fired Evan Bourne! You bastards!

Okay, maybe I'm not that upset over WWE firing Evan Bourne along with several other wrestlers today, but dang, he was awesome. My feels are blunted by the fact that he hadn't been on TV since like Batista quit four years ago. He was suspended for violating the company's wellness policy for a second time (literally two weeks after coming off suspension for his first violation), then fucked up his foot in a car accident. After that, he never returned to TV. Others who were fired include:

Brodus Clay: Somebody call...Ernest 'The Cat' Miller and tell him he can have his gimmick back, but he'll have to fight Naomi for the entrance music.
Aksana: I firmly believe that with the proper training, Aksana could have been a power wrestler. She certainly had the physical build for it. I think her termination had to do with her breaking Naomi's eye socket during a match. It was an accident, but WWE probably didn't want someone around who could do that kind of damage by accident.
JTG: Oh hey, he was still employed!
Curt Hawkins: See above.
Yoshi Tatsu: Damn it.
Teddy Long: No wait-a-minute playah...
Camacho: Since Hunico is now Sin Cara, I guess they decided that his tag partner was expendable.
Drew McIntyre: Shame, because he had the talent and looks to be a big deal.
Jinder Mahal: They hindered Jinder.
and a ref named Marc Harris

So probably the biggest effect of these firings is the apparent dissolution of 3MB, the stable McIntyre and Mahal were part of with Heath Slater. Of course, the latter could just get new peeps.

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