Tuesday, April 3, 2012

That one episode of Saved by the Bell where Jessie gets addicted to pills

I know that feel, bro.
Caffeine pills, that is. Back in '90, somebody decided to do a very special episode of Saved by the Bell called Jessie's Song, wherein Elizabeth Berkley's character, Jessie Spano, gets addicted to pep pills. Yeah, the same pills college students used to down by the bottle during mid-terms and finals before the advent of Red Bull. According to Wikipedia, it is possible to become addicted to caffeine, since it's a stimulant and I guess they didn't want to permanently alter one of the show's main characters by anchoring with a harsher drug addiction. I mean, they couldn't have her end up in an opium den, chasing the dragon or shooting up in her bedroom, lights out while "Stairway" plays softly in the background. Actually, that would have been more effective than "Oh shit, I'm addicted to caffeine!" because almost everyone is addicted to caffeine*. The coffee and soft drink industries are built around that principle.

If this episode was made today though, the climax would have been different than just her breaking down in her room. Instead, they would have Zack find her in the local 7-11 blowing the clerk for a six pack of Red Bull and a couple of bottles of those 8 Hour energy drinks.

I wonder if we could blame her addiction for Showgirls?

*Except for a few Christian denominations, the Hare Krishnas, and some members of the straight-edge subculture.

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