The best and worst G.I. Joe vehicles.

It's been a while since we've had a G.I. Joe post, hasn't it? Well, Topless Robot and The Robot's Pajamas both have lists ranking vehicles from the toyline. Topless Robot ranks the ten least suited for the real world and includes the Mudfighter, Septic Tank (yes, COBRA really named one of their vehicles that), and the Pogo Battle Pod. I completely agree with this list; those are truly some poorly designed vehicles and in the case of the Septic Tank, poorly named. Can you imagine when one of those got blown up, what COBRA had to tell the families of the poor bastards crewing it?

"We're sorry, but your son was killed today while battling G.I. Joe."
"How did he die?"
"In a Septic Tank."

They're going to think their son was cleaning shit out of a tank when a Joe walked by and dropped a grenade inside or something.

"He took a lot of shit, but was ultimately killed by the farts."
Credit: YOJOE.com

The Robot Pajamas, on the other hand, lists the ten best vehicles, including the Tomahawk (had one as a kid!), the Moray, and the Mobile Command Center, which honestly looks epic as fuck, even though every Joe on there is hideously exposed to sniper fire. Fumbles would have a field day.

Why is there a marine in dress blues manning a station, though?
Credit: The Robot's Pajamas.