The problem with having a mute ninja as a member of G.I. Joe

Credit: Our Valued Customers.

That probably is annoying during a battle. Imagine if Tripwire somehow gets a grenade stuck in his pants and no one but Snakes Eye realizes it and he's frantically trying to warn him and everyone else about it, but no one's paying attention. Worse, someone does notice, but they think he's goofing off or something.

"Dammit, Snake Eyes, this isn't the time or place for a game of charades!"

Batman has 99 problems, but being in the upper 1% tax bracket isn't one of them

Credit: Nothing is Linear.

He probably just walked into the Hall of Justice wearing that sparkly cape, a skip in his step.

Superman: "Wow, Bruce, that's a...that's a nice cape you got there."
Batman: "Haha, yeah, I just bought it today. It's got diamonds sewn right into it, woo!"
Wonder Woman: "Uh...why are you so upbeat Bruce? We've never seen you this happy before."
Aquaman: "Yeah, and it's kind of freaking us the hell out."
Batman: "I just got back from my CPA and I'm even richer than fuck now! Haha! Who wants their own island? Fuck it, I'm buying a country."

He then throws his arms into the air, shouts "Batman out!" and skips away. Later that night, the rest of the JLA are at home, watching TV when they see a news bulletin about Bruce Wayne buying a country.

h/t roastbeefguy.

No, kids, this isn't dubstep, it's the sound of a dial-up modem connecting to the internet.

Ah yes, the memories. Having to hear that noise whenever I wanted to get online every five hours, because for whatever reason, the 56k modems disconnected after five hours. Then there were all the times that I was either downloading something off the net or playing an online game like Diablo II and someone would call and disconnect me. I can't count the number of times I would be about the finish a quest in D2 and that would happen, or someone would need to use the phone.

It wasn't all bad, I do have some funny memories from those bygone days. Like spending six hours (or longer) downloading a 24MB file or waiting ten minutes for a three minute video on YouTube to finish loading. I'm not joking. I honestly can't even imagine what it must be like to use the internet now with dial-up.

Fond memories, but thank god for broadband.

This VG Cats strip is my favorite comic this week (so far)

Always love a good ReBoot reference.

Check out this awesome rendition of the 90s X-Men cartoon's intro done in stop motion.

Found this on SF Signal.




And for comparison, hit the jump to see the real intro.



I dig it. It's not only cool, but it reminds me of all the X-Men figures I had growing up. They were the toys I went to after Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Batman and Superman have a bad romance

So I've been seeing this post going around Tumblr of Superman calling Batman at Wayne Manor, the latter refusing to take the call, causing Superman to hang up...and cry. I finally decided to figure out where it came from and after some googling, found out that it's from World's Finest. Maybe. I'm seeing two different issue numbers and neither really matches up for me.

I bet Clark just sat in his apartment afterward,
listening to The Cure in the dark.

Hit the jump to see the panels that came before it for proper context.

Nice wood paneling, Bruce.

Like I said, I'm not sure exactly which issue or even comic this is from. Living Between Wednesdays says #294 of World's Finest, while Scans Daily says #297. In any event, it definitely takes place after the final issue of The Brave and The Bold, where Batman got into an argument with the JLA over their policy of not intervening in the internal affairs of countries and quit the team, ultimately forming The Outsiders.

I like how Batman has all those pictures of him and Superman just hanging there in the mansion, where anyone could stumble on them. Way to maintain your secret identity, dude.

Tony looks worse for wear in this Iron Man 3 picture

He could be more kawaii desu.

Dammit, guys, don't mess up his face; it's how he makes the money.

Picture via Topless Robot.

The hell is up with The Rock's legs?

Picture via Buzzfeed.
The Rock's freakish Hulk legs
via steroids and human growth hormones (probably).

Seriously, that shit ain't right. Not even joking, the only time I've seen legs like that are in comics and no, that isn't a complement.

NASA Johnson Style is the geekier Gangnam

Speaking of Gangnam Style, the music video hit one billion views on YouTube, so that's pretty cool.

The new TARDIS interior looks sweet

There are some Whovians who don't like the redesign, but I do. It's a nice throwback to Classic Who, which is a nice touch, given the franchise's fiftieth anniversary next year. Imagine having some of the older incarnations of the Doctor, like Four through Eight standing at the console next to Ten and Eleven.

...

I think I just nerded in my pants.

Edit: I just found a picture on Tumblr of the First Doctor's console and it looks very similar to the new one:

Picture via The Mary Sue and unwillingadventurer. h/t Classic Who.

Check out this new Star Trek Into Darkness trailer

This one is more Kirk-focused.



Not much light shed on Benedict Cumberbatch's "John Harrison" character. I still don't think that's his character's real name. I also don't think he's Khan or Gary Mitchell.

I'm a few years late and a couple dollars short, but here's two He-Man music videos

How did I not know about these sooner? The first is a parody of 4 Non Blondes 1993 hit, "What's Up?" by an animation studio called Slackcircus Studios (YouTube Channel), with vocals by their employees. They eventually made the original available for remixing. You can find the truncated version, featuring just the song here.



Next up is a parody video of LMFAO's "Sexy and I Know It" and it is almost as hilarious as the first. Almost. Nothing can ever really top that. Ever.



I probably enjoyed these more than I should have.

Trek news: the identities of Alice Eve and Benedict Cumberbatch's characters supposedly revealed

First off, the trailer, since I never posted it here for some reason.



Now on to the news. Ever since the trailer came out, speculation has been rife about who Alice Eve was playing in the movie. An almost general consensus formed that she was playing Elizabeth Dehner, a one-off character from the Star Trek episode "Where No Man Has Gone Before". This apparently was due entirely because of Eve's hair in the trailer. No, really. A hairdo.

Alice Eve.
Credit: Memory Alpha.

Elizabeth Dehner (played by Sally Kellerman).
Credit: Memory Alpha.

Well, I guess she just has to be Dehner, who was obviously the only woman in TOS with shoulder-length blonde hair. Just don't tell Janice Rand and Christine Chapel. Hit the jump for the rest.


However, according to Bleeding Cool, Eve isn't playing Dehner. They're reporting that she's playing Carol Marcus instead. I'm skeptical because it hasn't been confirmed by J. J. Abrams, Roberto Orci, or Damon Lindelof and I'd like some secondary sources to back this up. Silas Lesnick, the guy Bleeding Cool cites, wrote this article about visiting the Abram's Bad Robot studio, yet doesn't actually give any details other than Eve is playing Carol Marcus. No quotes. No video clip. Nothing.

This is the same reason why I'm skeptical about this Tor.com report that Benedict Cumberbatch's character has finally been revealed.

According to them, a caption to this picture ("sanctioned" by Paramount Studios, whatever that means) IDs his character as John Harrison. Much like the Alice Eve-Carol Marcus story, I'm taking this with a grain of salt.

And the grain weighs three tons.

Here's why: As Tor themselves point out, John Harrison was a generic name used by TOS writers for when they needed to name a male extra and didn't want to go to the trouble of creating a new name every time. So, this might just be a red herring.

Credit: Toonopolis.

Who do I think they're playing? No idea and any of the guesses would probably prove to be wrong. I don't think he's Khan or Gary Mitchell, however. I didn't see anything in the trailer that really screamed "godlike being" to me. As for Khan, Abrams and Co. have said that they're not doing remakes of any of the original movies and want to make their movies separate from those. That's the reason why the movie's called Star Trek Into Darkness and not Star Trek II: Into Darkness, or just Star Trek: Into Darkness. Making Khan the antagonist in the second Trek movie would contradict that goal, wouldn't it?

On the other hand, he could be playing a wholly original character and folks are just projecting their desires onto it. In the end, I think we should just wait for confirmation from Abrams and Co. before we all go crazy and start writing Kirk-Spock-Mitchell/Khan/Harrison slash fiction.

Apparently NetZero is still a thing that exists

From a time when AOL was king and people thought the neo-swing would last forever.
Credit: Wikipedia.

That, or I was hallucinating that commercial I saw yesterday. For the people who were too young or just might not remember, NetZero was one of many ISPs that popped up during the late 90s and while it was never as popular as the former monolith that was America Online, NetZero did have a unique approach to getting customers - free internet access. Yeah, "free". In the words of the immortal Robert A. Heinlein, "There ain't no such thing as a free lunch" and NZ was no exception. Sure, they gave you free internet, but it was ad-supported, which is to say that you had to choose between a toolbar (which you couldn't disable) and a banner that displayed ads. It was an idea that resulted in big successes, as the company netted a million subscribers.

Then the dotcom bubble burst and NetZero got real...selective about their "free" service. You might even say stingy. They established a 40 hour limit on their "free" internet and anyone who exceeded it was encouraged to sign up for a premium service where they got unlimited service for like ten bucks. Not too bad, really, until they dropped the limit by 30 hours and then it just became a joke, one not as funny as the commercial they aired during the economic crash a few years ago, where they actually encouraged people to ditch broadband for their "3G" service. And by 3G, I mean dial-up. Yeah, they were not only still doing dial-up long after it had became obsolete, but they even  repackaged it in the hopes that people would downgrade back to it.



The company's proposal is just mind-blowing in its stupidity. Dial-up isn't just obsolete, it just isn't viable for the modern era of the internet. Sure, if you only use the internet for email and light stuff like that, then you should get by fine, but if you want to do anything with YouTube, Tumblr, what have you, then you're up the shit creek without a paddle or even a boat. Their play was ballsy, but much like Chiaotzu's suicide attack on Nappa, it was doomed to failure.

I was as surprised then as I was years later when I saw another one of their commercials, this time for a wifi equipment and the idea that you could doll out a gig of bandwidth to friends and family. According to Engadget, there are various data plans with the most expensive being fifty bucks a month for 4gigs of bandwidth. I honestly have no idea if that's a lot (I won't pretend to be a tech geek), but I feel like most people would blow through that like Lindsay Lohan goes through coke. That probably opens the door for them to charge you more. Additionally, and this is probably the most critical part, you have to be in a 4G coverage area.

I still can't believe that company is still around. Then again, so is AOL for reasons that may never be explained, but possibly involve pacts with the Old Gods.

Everybody in Eternia must have been nearsighted

How else do you explain no one ever looking at Prince Adam and going "Hey, he looks exactly like He-Man!" or vice versa?

A disguise so flawless, how could anyone ever suspect?

On the other hand, maybe everyone did know, but just played dumb, so that Adam could keep living out his power fantasy. You know, like what everyone does with Superman.

h/t The Thought Emporium Imperial for the pic.

The best and worst G.I. Joe vehicles.

It's been a while since we've had a G.I. Joe post, hasn't it? Well, Topless Robot and The Robot's Pajamas both have lists ranking vehicles from the toyline. Topless Robot ranks the ten least suited for the real world and includes the Mudfighter, Septic Tank (yes, COBRA really named one of their vehicles that), and the Pogo Battle Pod. I completely agree with this list; those are truly some poorly designed vehicles and in the case of the Septic Tank, poorly named. Can you imagine when one of those got blown up, what COBRA had to tell the families of the poor bastards crewing it?

"We're sorry, but your son was killed today while battling G.I. Joe."
"How did he die?"
"In a Septic Tank."

They're going to think their son was cleaning shit out of a tank when a Joe walked by and dropped a grenade inside or something.

"He took a lot of shit, but was ultimately killed by the farts."
Credit: YOJOE.com

The Robot Pajamas, on the other hand, lists the ten best vehicles, including the Tomahawk (had one as a kid!), the Moray, and the Mobile Command Center, which honestly looks epic as fuck, even though every Joe on there is hideously exposed to sniper fire. Fumbles would have a field day.

Why is there a marine in dress blues manning a station, though?
Credit: The Robot's Pajamas.

This'll happen to Third Eye Blind soon enough

PvP by Scott Kurtz.

And The Cardigans, Ace of Base, and hopefully Creed. God, can we all just forget about Creed?

And Kid Rock. And Limp Bizkit. Pretty much all rap metal bands from the late 90s and early 00s. Good? Good.

A most dangerous couple: When Gordon Met Chell

Awesome video is awesome.



I like how neither of them talked and instead communicated with hand signals. It was a nice touch for these infamously silent characters. Having said that, those two must never be allowed to have offspring because I don't think the Earth could handle that amount of win.

Now, if someone could go ahead and make Half-Life and Portal movies, that would be great. Just no Michael Bay, Roland Emmerich, and especially not Uwe Boll.

h/t Girl vs The Multiverse.

YouTube will be the death of me: I just found out there's anime on there

I know, a day late and a dollar short, but in my defense, before two weeks ago, I only used YouTube to listen to music and watch TableTop and The Guild. But since then, I've started devouring shows and actually enjoying it. Then, I discovered that the original Mobile Suit Gundam series is on YouTube the other day, and much, much more anime for my viewing pleasure, just now.

It's quite nice to see some companies using their noodles and utilizing the internet to promote their stuff. I mean, if you put your shows on the internet and let people watch them for free, it'll have a positive impact on your bottom line because most of those viewers will go out and buy the DVDs/Blu-rays. You'd think more media companies would realize that, but most are still stuck in the old days.

The fact that all those shows have been on there for several years just makes me feel like a bit of a dumbass, though - I could have been watching that stuff sooner! At least I understand now how people can completely write television out of the entertainment equation. I'm trying, but it's tough. I like wrestling and while WWE does upload their Monday Night RAW show to Hulu after it airs on TV, I'd rather not wait a day to get my wrestling fix.

I see what you're doing there, WWE: Why what happened during the CM Punk/John Cena/Ryback match last night was more important than the match itself

WWE.com.

 SO! While I didn't watch Survivor Series myself, Tumblr let me know what happened during the main event, namely that Seth Rollins, Dean Ambrose, and one of the Rock's millions - AND MILLIONS! - of cousins (seriously, is he related to the entire damn island of Samoa?) named Roman Reigns attacked Ryback and put him through one of the announce tables. Probably the Spanish announce team's. This allowed CM Punk to score the pinfall over John Cena and now I'm going to mark out a little.

*ahem*

OH MY FUCKING GOD, CM PUNK HAS A YEAR LONG TITLE REIGN!!!!

THIS IS THE MOST MAGICAL THING EVER AND NOW I AM GOING TO PUKE A RAINBOW!

*ahem* Sorry. Hit the jump for the rest of the post.


In any event, the appearance of Ambrose, Rollins, and Reigns is actually more important than Punk winning, because we're seeing a major change starting to happen in the WWE roster. I noticed it a few weeks ago while thinking about wrestling stuff and the then-current title holders and then it hit me: the WWE, probably without anyone giving it a second thought, had brought in the next generation of talent and at the same time, they've shifted the focus from the previous gen to them. Think about it for a second. John Cena and Randy Orton - the two biggest stars of their generation - both haven't held either of the world titles in over a year, though there are rumblings that the latter might be getting a title shot soon. Big Show is an exception, since he pretty much deserved a title run. Triple H is probably retired (and may prove to be the savior of the company, but that's another post entirely), and Undertaker is at least semi-retired, so we'll probably only ever see him at Wrestlemanias.

I think it's more than just refreshing the roster with new guys, I think what we're seeing is a major change, a realignment. It happened in the 90s when the roster shifted away from the bright colored, over the top days of the 80s and early 90s and towards a darker, more grittier style. Likewise, in the post-Attitude/pre-PG era, we saw the stalwarts of the previous era (Austin and Rock for example) disappear and replaced with fresh faces like John Cena, Randy Orton, Batista, Brock Lesnar, and others. Now we're seeing another change and while I don't see Orton or Cena disappearing like Rock and Austin. Like I said before, there are rumors of Randy Orton getting another title run, but if he does, it'll be his last. Cena, I don't see getting another run and will probably hang around the main event for a while longer - probably to fight Dwayne Johnson again - before he's shifted down to upper card to feud with up-and-comers. I think part of it is because Cena and Orton are basically used up as world champions. Each man has held the title ten and nine times, respectively, and at that point, it's just hard for people to become enthusiastic.

Still, I think it's the right time for this and I'm actually hyped to see what the next generation of WWE wrestlers brings us. God knows we've probably hit the jackpot on talent. We've got CM Punk, Daniel Bryan, Antonio Cesaro, Kofi Kingston, Damien Sandow, Cody Rhodes, Sheamus, Ryback, Seth Rollins, Roman Reigns, Dean Ambrose, Dolph Ziggler, The Miz, Wade Barrett, and the list just goes on and on, and that's just the men! Hopefully we'll get some a new wave of women to the Divas Division too. It's actually astounding if you sit back and think about it; this might be the single most talented roster the WWE has ever had, or any wrestling promotion has ever had for that matter.

Truly, this is the best time to be a wrestling fan.

Why Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez broke up, according to Ryan Higa

The only explanation that matters.


My only regret here is not finding Higa's channel sooner. His videos are splendid.

Why I'll never buy any comic with Tony Harris name on it.

Because I refuse to buy shit drawn by a misogynistic asshole.

Kids, this is what an asshole looks like.
Credit: The Bird and The Bat.

Tony Harris is the artist who drew amongst other things, Ex Machina series for Image, which is unfortunate, because now I will never buy the trades. I could make a long winded post about how people like Harris are killing the geek/nerd subculture with this exclusionary bullshit and misogyny towards women in general and women new to the subculture specifically, but instead, I'm just going to quote from and link to an excellent post made by John Scalzi earlier this year.

Who gets to be a geek?

Anyone who wants to be, any way they want to be one.

Geekdom is a nation with open borders. There are many affiliations and many doors into it. There are lit geeks, media geeks, comics geeks, anime and manga geeks. There are LARPers, cosplayers, furries, filkers, crafters, gamers and tabletoppers. There are goths and horror geeks and steampunkers and academics. There are nerd rockers and writers and artists and actors and fans. Some people love only one thing. Some people flit between fandoms. Some people are positively poly in their geek enthusiasms. Some people have been in geekdom since before they knew they were geeks. Some people are n00bs, trying out an aspect of geekdom to see if it fits. If it does, great. If it doesn’t then at least they tried it.

Many people believe geekdom is defined by a love of a thing, but I think — and my experience of geekdom bears on this thinking — that the true sign of a geek is a delight in sharing a thing. It’s the major difference between a geek and a hipster, you know: When a hipster sees someone else grooving on the thing they love, their reaction is to say “Oh, crap, now the wrong people like the thing I love.” When a geek sees someone else grooving on the thing they love, their reaction is to say “ZOMG YOU LOVE WHAT I LOVE COME WITH ME AND LET US LOVE IT TOGETHER.”

Any jerk can love a thing. It’s the sharing that makes geekdom awesome.

I'll admit that used to have a bias against what I saw as "faux-geeks and nerds", but you know what? I got over it. If someone wants to call themselves a comic book geek, but only reads Deadpool or Avengers Academy, who cares? At least they're reading comics. If a woman likes dressing up at a comic book character, even if they have nothing but a brief familiarity with that character, then who cares? Maybe it'll pique their or someone else's curiosity in that character and they'll start reading the comics, thus giving the industry what it desperately needs - new blood. I mean, is it really killing anybody to see women cosplaying as Harley Quinn, Captain Marvel, Maria Hill, or what have you? I didn't think so.

Tony Harris and his ilk need to crawl back into their fucking dank holes with the other sexists and not come out until they learn to respect women period.

h/t rraaaarrl.

Because Felicia Day and Tom Lenk are awesome - Bach to the Future.

Day is a pretty good violinist. She seems to be a never ending source of talent.

There's a sex scandal on Sesame Street and it doesn't involve Bert, Ernie, a filipino prostitute, nor cocaine

No, it involves the Elmo's puppeteer of all things. According to Boston.com, he's being accused of having a sexual relationship with an underage boy, by the now adult victim. Regarding the matter, Sesame Street Workshop has this statement on their blog:

In June of this year, Sesame Workshop received a communication from a then 23 year old man who alleged that he had a relationship beginning when he was 16 years old with Kevin Clash, a Sesame Workshop puppeteer who performs as Elmo.

We took the allegation very seriously and took immediate action. We met with the accuser twice and had repeated communications with him. We met with Kevin, who denied the accusation. We also conducted a thorough investigation and found the allegation of underage conduct to be unsubstantiated. Although this was a personal relationship unrelated to the workplace, our investigation did reveal that Kevin exercised poor judgment and violated company policy regarding internet usage and he was disciplined.

Kevin insists that the allegation of underage conduct is false and defamatory and he is taking actions to protect his reputation. We have granted him a leave of absence to do so.

Elmo is bigger than any one person and will continue to be an integral part of Sesame Street to engage, educate and inspire children around the world, as it has for 40 years.

 And here's my take on the matter:

Is nothing sacred anymore? Can we please not have sex scandals involving beloved institutions like Sesame Street? What's next, a Loonette the Clown sex tape?

h/t Topless Robot.

Binging on videos

I don't watch a great many videos on the internet for some reason. I blame procrastination and having a limited interest in what the net has to offer - I'm not much of a fan of nutshots, cute animals, or people doing song covers or what have you. Usually, I watch wrestling videos, music videos, etc., but last night, I binged like someone who hadn't eaten for days and just walked into an all-you-can-eat restaurant. I watched the first two episodes of Battlestar Galactica: Blood & Chrome (see my post here), followed by the sixth season of The Guild, and got caught up on the episodes of TableTop that I had missed. I followed that up with the episodes of Elementary and The Big Bang Theory that I missed last Thursday. Sprinkled around there for flavor was an episode of My Drunk Kitchen and Daily Grace.

I don't know why I watched all those videos. I think the internet is increasingly becoming superior to television when it comes to entertainment - I had more fun watching a hungover Hannah Hart try to cook a simple breakfast than I have watching half-hour, award-winning comedies on TV.

Whatever the reason, I'm making this a permanent thing; I don't watch that much TV to begin with. I might also start writing my posts about these videos: non-reviews, highlighting shows that I think are worth watching, that sort of thing.

Getting real tired of your shit, Robin

reddit.

h/t Wil Wheaton.

It slices! It dices! It might even do some computer shit too! It's the greatest computer commercial ever!

I'm amazed that Apple hasn't hired this Rich DuLaney guy to do commercials for them, you know, if he hasn't overdosed on speed, that is.



h/t How-To Geek.

The Doctor and Doc Brown from Back to the Future have a rap battle

The Doctor's rhymes are wibbly-wobbly phatty-watty.



I think the Doctor won. His rapping was funny and energetic, while Brown's was pretty much like watching an old man rap. He had some funny bits, but it was too wordy.

Who do you think won the rap battle? The Doctor or Doc Brown?

My mind, she is blown: George Lucas donating the $4 billion Disney paid for Lucasfilms to charity

Specifically, to educational foundations. There is only one gif that is appropriate for this:

I can't even comprehend the decision to donate four billion dollars to charity and for that, Lucas is a better man than I.

I'll admit that my reaction to Disney buying Lucasfilms was pretty much what almost everyone else's was - I lost my goddamn mind. I got over it though, once I thought about it more, but that's a different post entirely.

My hat's off to George Lucas for this.

(via Tor.com)

Building a full-size replica of the Millenium Falcon? Yeah, that's nerdy!

Wookieepedia.

A chap named Chris Lee is doing just that too. His plan is to build an exact 1:1 scale replica that incorporates aspects of the Falcon from A New Hope and Empire Strikes Back over a period of five to seven years. he has a team helping him with everything from upholstery to quad gun construction.

Holy fucking shit, that's mind-blowing in its nerdery. Check out Full Scale Millennium Falcon Project for pictures of his amazing progress.

h/t The Orange.

RIP G4's X-Play and Attack of the Show

Both shows are being cancelled by G4 as part of an effort to repackage the ailing network as more "guy-centric". In other words, more episodes of COPs, Ninja Warrior, and whatever other reality shows they can get on the cheap.

While I never watched either show a lot, X-Play was a pretty good show. Attack of the Show, though, not so much. It was good in the beginning, but degenerated into internet clips, commercials for electronics (phones, computers, tablets, etc.) disguised as reviews, and low-brow comedy. A poor successor for The Screen Savers, the show that it replaced.

Of course, G4 ended up in its current situation because of their over reliance on reality shows. They had a slew of good shows after they merged with TechTV, but their execs instead chose to cut almost all the meat from the bone and fired the majority of their on-air personalities and cancel all but two of their shows. Well, looks like their stupidity has finally bitten them in the ass and they're fated to be a Spike clone.

Can't say I'm heartbroken.

There's going to be a new Conan movie starring Arnold Schwarzenegger

I've already written up a post about it here, but this should sum up my feelings on the matter:

Making Batman a vampire is the definition of 'overkill'

Watch as he takes out the entire Justice League from The Brave and the Bold.


Nice appearance by The Demon/Jason Blood too.

Here it is, the Iron Man 3 trailer

Looks interesting, especially the bit with Tony apparently going under the knife to get the ARC reactor removed from his chest. That's makes a lot of sense, actually. In the comics, he only had the pacemaker until 1969, when he retrieves an artificial heart transplant in Iron Man #19 and no longer needs the pacemaker. Plus, Iron Man 3 is supposed to feature parts of the Warren Ellis's Extremis storyline, so if Tony injects himself with the Extremis Virus, he definitely won't be needing the reactor, at least not in his chest.

Iron Man also seems to be facing the consequences of having a publicly known identity, which illustrates the very reason why superheroes have secret identities: So supervillains don't send helicopter gunships to your house to try and blow you up.

One gripe, though:

Via Marvel's Tumblr.

Isn't Mandarin supposed to be Chinese? Don't get me wrong, it's great seeing Ben Kingsley star in something other than B-movies, but really? Mandarin? Personally, I would have gone with Ken Watanabe. Sure, he's not Chinese either, but at least he's Asian.

h/t HeroPress.

Oh, by the way, check out my new wrestling blog - Flying Elbow Smash!

Yeah, I decided to create one because I had quite a few ideas for wrestling-related posts and didn't want to flood GSNT with them. That's how Swords, Dragons, and Nerds was created and that seems to have worked out well enough. Check it out and read the two posts I've written so far. It's not much, but FES isn't meant to be a frequently updated thing. I never thought I'd enjoy writing about wrestling as much as I have, but it's actually quite fun!

Marvel releases teaser for Iron Man 3 trailer

A teaser for a trailer for a movie, what marketing "genius" thought that one up?



So we see the new fugly Iron Man armor (god, I hope that thing isn't the main one), and Pepper Potts in dire need of some thrilling heroics.

h/t Nerdvana.

Why I think CM Punk's match at Hell in a Cell will be a triple threat and why Punk will win

First, a brief recap on the circumstances from last Monday's episode of Raw leading to the triple threat.



So Vinnie Mac gives CM Punk an ultimatium: he has until Monday to choose which opponent he'll face at Hell in a Cell - John Cena or Ryback - or McMahon will choose for him and that right there is why I think it'll be a triple threat between the two men. The encounters between Punk and Ryback were big clues as well, but I don't think it'll be a one on one between those two men for two reasons:

1. I think the WWE intends for Punk to hold the title until at least Survivor Series. I think they not only like the idea of a year long title reign, they also don't really have anyone else waiting in the wings to take the championship. I don't think the WWE Universe (I hate that name, by the way) would support another John Cena title run. Dude's already held it ten times, that's more than enough.
2. I think Ryback's undefeated streak is going to continue for a while longer. He's still largely doing squash matches and hasn't really faced any substantial threat in his matches, though they're obviously beginning to bring him down from Wolverine levels of invulnerability. Plus, I just don't think he's ready for the belt. Give him the Intercontinental title for a few months, give him matches where he actually has to fight to win, with a few close squeakers mixed in to plant seeds of doubt in the Universe's minds about his ability to beat Punk before having him challenge for the belt. Just for the love of god, don't give him the U.S. title, because the crowds are already chanting "Goldberg" when Ryback wrestles, there's no need to reinforce it. 

So, for those reasons, I think Punk will retain the WWE Championship at Hell in a Cell by pinning Cena. As a side note, I think the WWE should take Cena out of circulation for a while; maybe have him suffer an injury to his recently operated on elbow that forces him to take time off and go through rehab. They should also start to think seriously about moving Cena out of the main event picture and into the upper mid-card. Cena's time has passed and it's time for the next generation to shine.

The new RoboCop costume for the reboot looks balls awful

Credit: ComingSoon.net.

I think Our Valued Customers summed it up best with Monday's comic. I think I might have a gif sums up my opinion of it:

What exactly was wrong with the original? It was easily recognizable and didn't look like a cast off from Tron 2. Then again, movie studios would fuck up a wet dream, so we can't really be all that surprised when they do something like this.

The inherent problem with being a companion of the Doctor

Credit: Hijinks Ensue by Joel Watson (click to embiggen).

Other results may include: Being abandoned on an alien world/different period of time, having your memories of the Doctor erased, realizing that you're a Dalek, becoming a fixed point in time and more. Basically, if you run into a guy who owns a blue police box from 1960s England and he offers to take you on adventures in time and space, just know what you're signing up for.

Also bring a pair of comfortable pair of running shoes, because you'll be doing plenty of running away from things. A crowbar or something that can open wooden objects (ex. doors) would be useful as well.

First she sets fire to the rain, now Adele makes the Skyfall.

She is very destructive towards the atmosphere, isn't she?


h/t Geek Flag, because I'm far too lazy to keep up on movie related news.

Felicia Day should probably never be allowed to pilot a BattleMech.

Her brother, on the other hand, would be useful if you ever have need for a rampage of mindless destruction.


Holy crap, that cartridge looked like it had been stored poorly. Remember kids, always take care of your games, especially the older ones. Sega made those big VHS sized cases for a reason!

Hijinks Ensue's Joel Watson sums up the entire Sherlock fandom in one comic

Click to embiggen.

It's true. I too have felt the siren call of fine writing and Benedict Cumberbatch fine chiseled cheekbones and general lankiness.

(via Hijinks Ensue)

Anyone remember The Addams Family cartoon?

I used to watch when I was a kid, but I honestly cannot remember anything in particular, other than the redheaded kid's parents constantly scheming to get rid of the Addams, because they didn't like the latter's lifestyle. I liked the Beetlejuice cartoon more.

This picture of Emma Frost is horrifying

I was reading Multiversity Comics article today about the dos and don'ts of being a comic book pro on Twitter when I saw this picture of Emma Frost:

Do.not.want.

Jesus, she looks like one of those forty-somethings that wears clothes meant for women younger than them, bleaches their hair weekly and overdoes their makeup. Emma's face looks like she chain smokes too. Who in the name of the Gods of Kobol drew this picture?

I think I've figured out the real reason behind CM Punk's recent heel turn

For the non-wrestling fans, CM Punk is a wrestler who works for the WWE (formerly WWF), where he is their WWE Champion. You can't see it in the above picture, but one of Punk's many, many tattoos is the emblem for COBRA Command from G.I. Joe.

What I never noticed until last night, when that picture was taken, was that he also had the symbol of the Arashikage Ninja Clan (also from G.I. Joe) tattooed on his right forearm (the red blocks). Snake-Eyes and every member of that clan has that tattoo, which, combined with the COBRA tattoo, led me to only one conclusion...

Arashikage ain't nothin' to fuck with!

...CM Punk is Storm Shadow! That would explain the heel turn - COBRA kidnapped Punk and brainwashed him into doing their bidding (again)! IT ALL MAKES PERFECT SENSE!

So now I'm wondering if that makes Colt Cobana Snake-Eyes?

Pictures via kitty- and JIMSMASH ! ! !.

50,000 hits!

Yay!

Watch artist Hong Yi set fire to Adele (sort of)

Completely and utterly amazing.


According to Hong Yi, this is part of a project where she creates art using one of the four elements of nature - Earth, Fire, Wind, and Water. No idea if Heart will be used, though she should be cautious, as that has a tendency to summon Captain Planet, when combined with the other four.

Though using a heart wouldn't be advisable.

h/t Jamie Noguchi of Yellow Peril. Comic via VG Cats.

New Doctor Who trailer!

h/t Nerdvana.

The League of Extraordinary Gentlepersons just gave me a massive nerdgasm

You have no idea how badly I want this to be a thing that is real. Unfortunately, it isn't. Instead, this is the masterwork of Chris Bird from MightyGodKing and Andrew Wheeler, with art by Davinder Brar. Based, of course, on Alan Moore's The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Here's a description of the plot:

Abuse of Playback, the technologically-derived drug made from distilled human memories, is sweeping the world – and Special Agent Fox Mulder learned too late that Playback was put forth on this planet by the Purity, seeking to condition humanity to their rule so as to better combat the Deadite incursion threatening the aliens’ homeworld. Now Mulder is missing, and it falls to his partner, Dana Scully, to re-activate secret protocol LXG-71, the “League of Extraordinary Gentlepersons” (protocol renamed 1993 for “sensitivity reasons”).
Scully swiftly collects Hong Kong Detective-Inspector “Tequila” Yuen, hyperviolent Wiccan practitioner Nancy Downs, the biological experiment/walking weapon known only as “Edward,” and a young high-functioning sociopath named Zack Morris who has the strange ability to stop the flow of time itself. Perhaps it is this last who attracts the attention of an enigmatic man who answers only to “Rufus,” and who asks Scully to “set history right” and see that two young musicians – that, so far as she can tell, never existed – be born anew, so that peace may flourish on Earth. But the Purity have never shown any signs of temporal travel capability… so who, then, altered history?

If some of the names sound unfamiliar, here's a rundown:

• Tequila Yuen is from the movie 1992 film Hard Boiled, played by Chow Yun-fat.
• Nancy Downs is Fairuza Balk's character from the 1996 film The Craft. I actually thought it was Winona Ryder's character from Beetlejuice.
• Dana Scully is obvious from the X-Files.
• Zack Morris is from Saved By The Bell. I never saw him as a sociopath, but I guess his constant plots and schemes could mark him as one.
• Rufus is from Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure and Bogus Journey.
• Edward Scissorhands is well, that's pretty self-explanatory.

My favorite parts are the pokeball in the glass case and the pictures on the wall. I have no idea who the person with the question mark for a head is supposed to be. Oh yeah, you can buy a print of it here.

Jarred Super Friends, collect them all!

I don't know what's harder to believe: that Superman can punch out of a jar,
or that Batman doesn't have a can of jar repellent spray in his belt.

The Super Friends Collector Jar Series was great, but they got progressively more disappointing after the fourth wave. I think they still have a warehouse full of the El Dorado ones in Indonesia.

Gif via Space Ghost Zombie.

Damn amazing: Top Cow raises $117,135 for Cyber Force relaunch

Astounding! Cyber Force is a title that goes all the way back to the 90s; it was one of many to come about during a decade that many comic fans probably wish never existed. While not a big Cyber Force reader, I did have some issues and they were pretty decent. Not great, but it was better than anything Rob Liefeld was putting out at the time, but then again, what wasn't? Cyber Force was about a group of mutants who were kidnapped by an evil corporation called Cyberdata who, apparently, decided that their being mutants just wasn't good enough, so they slapped some cybernetics on them. They escaped and formed the eponymous Cyber Force in order to take Cyberdata down. One of the things I always weird was the fact that one of the characters, Stryker, had four cybernetic arms. Cyberdata replaced both his regular arms, then went "what the hell" and added a two more...on his right side. He has three arms on the same side of his body. COMICS EVERYBODY! I always thought he was pretty bland, being too much of an overly grim and gritty Cable ripoff.

Hey, look, the 90s in a nutshell.

Well, anyway, Top Cow Productions wanted to have another go at the team, six years after the last run, and for whatever reason, hit Kickstarter in order to raise money to do it. The goal was $75k, but when the dust cleared, they raised over $117k. What I find interesting is that a big comic company did a Kickstarter. True, Top Cow isn't as big as Marvel, DC, Image, or Dark Horse, but they're not exactly small fries. The new series looks interesting:

Cyber Force is about a group of cybernetically enhanced resistance fighters on the run from a monolithic multi-national conglomerate. The essence of the new Cyber Force series is bio-cybernetic steampunk. Top Cow founder and Cyber Force creator Marc Silvestri (The Darkness, Incredible Hulk) is returning as co-writer, art director, and cover artist spearheading the unique vision for the new series. Co-writer Matt Hawkins (Think Tank, Lady Pendragon) is collaborating with Marc to create a cutting-edge world based on real technology. Artist Khoi Pham (Mighty Avengers, Daredevil) will be working hand-in-hand with Marc to make sure that every issue is filled with the spectacular, dynamic art fans have come to expect from Top Cow. Rounding out the team will be master colorist Sunny Gho (Artifacts, Incredible Hulk) and letterer Troy Peteri.

Steampunk? I mean, is it actually going to have steampunk elements or is that just a buzzword or catch-all term? Steampunk is usually associated with the past and "bio-cybernetic" doesn't sound like something you'd find in the 1890s. The most intriguing aspect of this, though, is that the first five issues will be free in both digital and physical formats! As Todd Allen from The Beat points out, this could be a hook to get people willing to buy future issues. I like it and I not only hope it works, but that it propagates through the entire comic book industry.

Cyber Force cover via Saltmanz.

Well, there goes Tony Scott, RIP

Unless you've been living in a cave for the past day or so, you've probably already heard about the death of Tony Scott, who directed some pretty good movies like Top Gun, Crimson Tide, Enemy of the State, and Unstoppable. He was also the younger brother of Ridley Scott. First off, my condolences to his family, his death is a sad, tragic thing. His death was a big shock for no other reason than the cause: suicide. Tony Scott jumped from a bridge in Los Angeles for reasons yet to be revealed. It was originally reported that he was recently diagnosed with inoperable brain cancer, but his wife and family have denied it. He did leave a suicide note, but what he wrote is unknown. Eyewitnesses, however, have said that Scott jumped to his death with no hesitation, so he was clearly determined. Hopefully, we'll find out at some point.

Robot Chicken's doing a DC Comics special? Me gusta.

And if the trailer is any indication, it will be awesome.




I would totally watch a spinoff series featuring the Legion of Doom. I liked the douchey prank Superman, Hal Jordan, and Wonder Woman pull on Aquaman. Unlike the rest of America, I never forgot about Chillblaine...because I never knew he existed. Man, I have to start reading the Flash comics.

h/t Topless Robot.

The new Guardians of the Galaxy movie sounds a lot like a certain scifi series

If the rumors are true and The Grid can be believed. According to that website, which apparently tracks the development of movies, the plot for the yet to be made Guardians of the Galaxy movie is thus:

About a U.S. pilot who ends up in space in the middle of a universal conflict and goes on the run with futuristic ex-cons who have something everyone wants.

My skepticism - one shared by both Topless Robot and The Mary Sue - is based on that fact that that is the premise of Farscape, a popular science fiction TV show that ran on SyFy back when it was still called the Sci Fi Channel. Farscape centered around a NASA astronaut (aka a U.S. pilot) who ends up on the other side of the galaxy and is forced to go on the run with a group of alien ex-cons. They're chased both because of the living starship they're on and more importantly, because of John Crighton, the aforementioned American pilot, has knowledge about wormholes (specifically, how to create them) in his noggin. If The Grid isn't bullshitting and that really is the plot for the GotG movie, then either Nicole Perlman or Chris McCoy ripped off Farscape.

Picture via IMDb.

NEW WHO COMING SOON MOTHERF*CKERS!

New episode of Doctor Who on September 1st! Asylum of the Daleks! I can't wait!

The All-New X-Men aren't really new, but they are X-Men

They look vaguely familiar, yes.

Before anybody loses their shit, Marvel hasn't rebooted their universe via a Crisis of Infinite Chimichangas. Instead, these Men (and one woman) of the X are from the past, and probably from an alternate timeline, who were brought to Marvel's present somehow. Yeah, I haven't read the current AvX event, but I think it's involved. Honestly, I wouldn't buy the series even if I had the money too, but I digress. Hopefully, Brian Michael Bendis will remember that this Cyclops isn't a total douche nozzle like current one is.

Well, looks like Marvel managed to bring Jean Grey back without resurrecting her again. Clever. I figured Hope Summers would regenerate into Jean or something.

By the by, that should have been the lineup for X-Men: First Class, had it been a proper reboot, and not that random hodgepodge we got instead.

Picture via the fine folks of Multiversity Comics.

These custom made book covers for vidya game cases are sweet as hell

They're custom jobs by an artist named James Bit. Just email him with the name of the game and its platform (he does DVD covers as well) and he emails you a PDF of the cover. Then its a simple process of printing the cover and slipping it into the case. Six dollars gets you three covers, but on larger orders, he only changes $1.49 each. They'd come in handy if you've ever bought used games from a GameStop and didn't come in their original case or if you just want something different.

Picture via bonerack. h/t Laughing Squid.